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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
-TheGreyWolf- Offline
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Family lying about abuse - December 16th 2015, 08:55 PM

CPS recently showed up and interviewed me and my family. I told them what was going and what has happened. They interviewed my mother and my brother,and they both lied to the worker about the abuse that has gone on. They told my mother 3 people have spoken up and admitted to what happened,But if the case ends up in court,my brother is gonna lie and say it never did happen when I and him both witnessed it and has gone thru it. He says since the abuse was a few months ago to a year,Its okay now and Im a dumbass for reporting it. He says Im gonna loose the case,and if I do he hopes I get beat cause I "deserve it for calling".He says a parent has a right to beat thier child if they misbehave,And the husband has a right to hit his wife if she pisses him off enough.Both my mother and brother say Im messed up in the head because I called and reported what happened.And since it doesn't happen 24/7 its not considered abuse. Im the only one who sees anything wrong and I dont know what to do

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Re: Family lying about abuse - December 16th 2015, 09:51 PM

There's a problem with the fact that your family does not see their behavior as wrong. Abuse is abuse and the frequency doesn't change that. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened, it is still abuse and it can still impact your life in a big way for years to come.

You're not a dumbass for reporting it and I am glad you stood up for yourself and told someone about what is going on. That takes a lot of courage and I am proud of you for that. You're not messed up in the head for reporting it, either.

In some places, a minor doesn't have a say in whether or not their case goes to court. Waiting to figure out whether or not your case goes to court is stressful, and going to court and telling your story in front of a judge is hard, too. I know it's easier said than done but don't listen to your brother. If other people have spoke up about the abuse there is a good chance of your abusers being charged for their behavior. But, sometimes things are complicated and there is also a chance that they will not be charged. Regardless, speaking up like this is empowering. I do think you should prepare yourself for different outcomes so you know what to expect.

I want you to know that you're doing the right thing regardless of what your family is telling you. You're doing what is best for yourself and that is admirable. Try to avoid contact with your family and keep hanging in there.

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Re: Family lying about abuse - December 18th 2015, 02:28 PM

Aw I'm so sorry that your family is turning on you like that and that the brother plans to lie. Like Cassado said, abuse is what it is regardless of frequency and when it happened. It can affect you for a long time and it's still wrong. I'm sorry that your brother has been brainwashed, for a lack of better words, into thinking that it is a mans right to beat his wif and children, that's actually sad in my opinion because it sounds like it's harming his soul.

You're doing the right thing, ok. Reporting it was the right thing. Other people told the truth when the social workers did the interviews, and that'll hold a lot of weight in court, even if your brother plans to lie now.

Aside from avoiding contact with your family, like Cassado suggested, is there anyone else you can talk to? A good trustworthy friend, a teacher, a counsellor, anything like that?

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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Re: Family lying about abuse - December 20th 2015, 02:45 PM

I'm sorry to hear your family isn't being supportive of you. Abuse is
abuse whether it happens once a day, once every other day or weeks, or hasn't happened in a year. It's still leaving a physical, emotional, and mental scar on you and that needs to be addressed. You said other people have approached CPS about it, so that increases your chances of winning the case and your family losing. I hope you get to work things out, and if they don't, do you think you could get a place of your own away from your mother and brother?
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Re: Family lying about abuse - December 30th 2015, 07:29 PM


I know that this is a complicated situation, and you're going through a lot.. But what I do know is that you deserve better. Is there a friend you could stay with? Or a dorm or someone willing to shelter you? Perhaps even a considerate neighbor ? Because this is clearly beyond limits. You don't deserve to be treated like this, not when all you're doing is stopping abuse or trying to protect other people.

I also want to let you know that if there's anything you want to talk about.. anything at all, you're welcome to talk to me about it.

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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Re: Family lying about abuse - January 10th 2016, 12:06 AM

I had a similar situation my mum told a social worker when i was 16 that there was nothing going on in our house when like a couple of nights before my dad had well pretty much strangled me. Yet my mum managed to convince my social worker everything was fine this then meant that social worker was like 'you need anger managerment if you start beahcing your dad will stop hurting you and stop drinking' so i like tried that but it didnt work... i dont really know what to suggest as such because well ive had similar stuff where my family has like lied about abuse to social services etc.
it is abuse even if it doesnt happen every night. my dad doesnt get violent every night its like a weekly thing at the moment this weeks been particulay bad but then i can have a few weeks where its just arguments and violence. i got told the other day when i was like talking to someone that even having to live in the fear of violence is like a form of abuse within itself.

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