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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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I'm sad and angry - February 11th 2016, 03:48 AM

So a while back ago i posted about a friend of mine who had to give her baby up for adoption many years ago. She has been in contact with him and everything is beginning to go good on that.

But i found out something that makes me so sad.
The reason why she felt like she had to give up her baby was because first of all she had no support from her family, her mother acted like it was something to be ashamed of.

But it makes it worse when i'm pretty sure she was raped. She didn't use that word, but it was implied. She told me that she met him and he seemed like a nice guy, she hung out with him and then he started wanting to do things and she said no, and he got on top of her anyway. she didn't go into detail and i definitely was not going to ask. So after she was raped then her mother wanted to act like she was making their family look bad. then she told him that she was pregnant and he was basically like well that's your problem not mine.

When i found this out i was in shock. it just makes me so angry that someone could do such a thing to another person. that's really just my point of this whole post... anger and sadness that such a thing could happen - and still does today. i'm not the type to judge all men based on the actions of the worst members of society... it just saddens and angers me to even think these people exist.

i am happy though that she didn't let this ruin her life, but this was the first time i've heard a personal story like this
   
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Re: I'm sad and angry - February 11th 2016, 08:02 PM

That is really tough, and I too, am angry about how someone could violate another person in such a horrible way.

Your friend's mother was wrong in acting like it was something to be ashamed of, but not everyone is supportive, unfortunately. I have people who are supporting me through my journey and I know I am lucky to have those people. It saddens me to know that there are a lot of people without supportive friends or family members.

I never got pregnant from rape, so I can't speak for myself, but I can only imagine how hard it is for someone go be violated and then become pregnant from their traumatic experience. I couldn't imagine raising a child that potentially looked like my abuser. I seems like your friend did what was best for herself and for her child, and I hope she continues to take care of herself through all of this.

I am glad you're not going to judge people of society, because they're not all bad. I know it can seem like that sometimes, and good people are few and far between but they definitely do exist.

I hope posting this helped you feel a little better about how you were feeling.


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Re: I'm sad and angry - February 11th 2016, 08:47 PM

It saddens me to hear about your friend's situation. It's hard enough to be raped, let alone get pregnant and have no support. Unfortunately, not everyone knows or is able to give support, even if that means parents or family, who you would think would give support no matter what. I totally agree that it was wrong of her mother to act ashamed of it. Your friend did nothing wrong and should not be made to feel ashamed. I haven't got pregnant from rape either, but I have thought what would I do in that situation, and I think that your friend made a good decision to give her baby up for adoption. It must've been a difficult decision to make, but it sounds like things are working out now.

Anger is a natural reaction when hearing that someone you care about has been through something so traumatic. It is good that you don't generalise all men, but I do agree that it is so difficult to think that there are people out there with no regard for other people to do such horrible things.

It's great that you have been there for your friend and that she hasn't let this experience stop her from living her life. Make sure you look after yourself too though, as it can be quite a shock to find out what happened.


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Re: I'm sad and angry - February 13th 2016, 03:16 AM

Thanks both of you
   
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