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LizaHelps Offline
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Exclamation Best Friend In Abusive Household - March 18th 2016, 05:45 AM

One of my best friends has parents that are irresponsible as hell (he's routinely had to call Ubers once after-school practice has ended for the day because his father blatantly states, "You need to find someone to ride home with. I'm not picking you up." Like, what the actual heck?) and is severely depressed, suffers disassociation, along with a manner of other nasty things. He's expressed fear in reporting any kind of injury to his parents and, although he isn't being physically harmed by his parents, his mental health is taking a huge toll. He hasn't expressed suicidal thoughts (yet) but he's definitely suffering - he hates himself, and I'm worried for his sake.
I'm not sure where to put this thread, but I'm asking in general: would it be possible for my parents to request custody of him or something? If Child Protective Services are called I'm not sure I would see him again, and I'm being selfish. I don't want him out of my life, I just want him to be happy. Because he clearly isn't.
And, if so, then what are the actions that need to be taken? To have him, I don't know, live with us. I'm adopted and so is one of my other brothers, and my parents consider a lot of my older brother's friends to be like sons of theirs, too, so it's not like they have problems connecting with kids, old or young, as there's a four-year (or more!) difference in age between my brother's friends and mine. Plus, I told my dad about his and my dad thought it was ridiculous - he could maybe understand one time, if the car broke down or something, but my friend is USED to this! That's just wrong in my own opinion, clearly.
Again, this might not belong here, but I really just don't know. I'm hoping to get answers any way I can without invoking the legal system just yet.
Thank you,

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Kate* Offline
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Re: Best Friend In Abusive Household - March 18th 2016, 06:10 AM

Hello there and welcome to TH

Your parents can't get custody without the legal system, and (likely) his parents agreeing to it. If CPS is called and they end up removing him from his home, he would first go with a relative, or a foster home, if no relative can take him, before your parents could. If your parents are foster parents, and he is removed from his home, they might be able to take him in as a foster child, but again, there would have to be legal intervention first.

It also depends how old he is, if he's close to 18, it might make sense to just wait, because anything with the court will take a long time and if he would be an adult before the process is completed then there's no point in doing it.

In the mean time, maybe your parents could offer to fill in some of the gaps? Like offer to pick him up from practices, invite him for meals, help him with homework etc. in a pinch? As far as his mental health is concerned, the only way (in most states) for him to get treatment would be for his parents to agree to it.

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