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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Thumbs down this has to end, but how? - April 30th 2016, 12:56 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Today my mother hit me with a cooking utensil and repeatedly screamed at me because I answered the phone for one of her friends and brought it to her. She snaps at the littlest things.

Sunday she smacked me in the face and arm until she got a reaction she was happy with and pushed me down the stairs, i'm lucky I didn't fall and break open my head. A few weeks prior to this, my mother pulled me down to the floor by my hair and pounded her fists into me repeatedly until she heard me scream. through all this all my father did was lecture me after words.

Sure, i'm not a perfect kid. But i'm not horrible either. Sure, I don't clean the whole house, but I make her coffee for her every morning, do the dishes morning and night, and keep my room clean. Why can she never be happy with ANYTHING?

This is too much to take. I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of cutting myself over this. I'm done crying. I want to report her.

But I'm afraid to. What happens if my report goes no where and it gets back to her? what would she do to me? what if the report DOES go somewhere? sometimes the one friend I have left is the only reason I don't kill myself, if they put me in a foster home, how will I see him? What would happen to my brother? He's a type one diabetic, it'd be unfair of me to leave him at all; and running through the system over this may very well split us up.

What do I do? I cant take this anymore, but I cant bring myself to do what needs to be done. help please?



"Those who aim to avoid their fate, often meet it on the road to escape."
   
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Re: this has to end, but how? - April 30th 2016, 03:34 AM

I have experience with abuse and reporting, but I don't have experience or a lot of knowledge on the system so my advice is probably going to be a little limited.

I think you should report your mother to the police or tell someone you trust whether that's a teacher, school counselor, or a friend. It might be worth talking to extended family to see if it is possible for them to fight for custody of you and your brother. What your mother is doing to you is putting your life at risk and you shouldn't be in the same house with her.

I know that sometimes reports don't get the attention they deserve, but reports of abuse are usually taken seriously, especially when the abuse is ongoing, like it is in your case. You might have to talk to police or people from child protective services at school, or in your home. A lot of times, child protective services will drop by unexpectedly for a visit so your parents do not have time to prepare or "coach" you to lie to cover them.

If you do report her, it is important to say that you do not want her to find out just yet because that will put you in a more difficult place than you're already in. Schools and other people can often make exceptions in cases like these to make sure you're safe. While police and people from child protective services are nice, they're going to care a lot about the laws and what they can do in regard to them. It is important to communicate and exercise your rights.

I cannot say what will happen to your brother. I've heard that many siblings do, unfortunately, get split up when they go through the system. However, some do get lucky and get to stay together in a foster home.

I hope you're able to come to a decision about what you feel is best for your health.


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Re: this has to end, but how? - April 30th 2016, 08:23 PM

Hi,
I agree with what was said above. I just wanted to give some additional information. It says on your profile your location is California. I found National Child Abuse Hotline for kids The hotline is available 24/7 and is designed for kids who are in abusive situations.

The way the fostercare system works, is that they try to place you with relatives first and if not, they try to place you in the same community you live. Ideally, siblings would be placed together but unfortunately that doesn't always happen.

It sounds like a lot of things are running through your mind and weighing you down. If you get split up with your brother, it wouldn't be your fault at all.
   
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