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Morpheus Offline
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Past Assault - June 12th 2016, 02:53 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have been feeling terrible about some sexual assault that happened to me in the past. It happened in 2014. I never reported it. I didn't have the self esteem to feel like I didn't deserve it, so I just let it happen and then I didn't do anything about it. Ever since, I've felt so wrong for not reporting it. I suppose part of why I didn't was because I felt like he would twist the story (he did that with another issue that had police involvement and everyone sided with him because I was using drugs at the time and they labelled me as not being able to know what accurately happened because of that, even though I knew what had happened). I feel terrible. He was also physically abusive towards me. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be complaining or I try to convince myself that it never happened.
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Re: Past Assault - June 12th 2016, 10:36 AM

I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling with past sexual assault. Firstly, you didn't deserve it and it wasn't your fault. You didn't 'just let it happen' at all, as it's the perpetrators fault, not yours.

I also think that reporting is a personal decision. You don't have to report, if you don't want to. If you don't report it, it doesn't make you weak or wrong. No-one should force you to report it either as it can be a very difficult process to go through and not an easy decision to make.

It's natural to worry about the story getting twisted. The perpetrator knows that they have done wrong, and so they might twist the story to make it appear that they haven't done any wrongdoing. I'm also saddened to hear that other people sided with him. Do you have any support of your own? It sounds like you could benefit from having someone to talk to about all of this.

You have every right to feel the way you do and to want to talk about this. No-one should have to put up with abusive behaviour, as there's simply no reason for it.

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