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Calaer Offline
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Angry I'm so over this entire family. - June 19th 2016, 09:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm gonna cut right to the chase. My little sister was raped. I took her to the hospital yesterday where we had a rape kit and report filed. The entire time she was so afraid because she thought she was going to get in to trouble because she is 18 and the person who did this to her was 16-17. I cried the entire time.

She is so afraid to tell my mother, who just blames us for anything that happens. I know she would have blamed her, and it breaks my heart. I just have no idea what to do. I feel so bad for her. The hospital gave her a list of numbers to call for support and therapy. I don't think she will call them.

Yesterday morning before all of this stuff with my sister happened, my mother called cursing me out, saying how I was a liar over something pathetic. That's what she does. She causes trouble for everyone. I wish she would just die already. I hate her.

I'm so angry. I'm angry that this happened to my beautiful baby sister. No one should have to go through this. No one should have to feel this. My heart is broken, heavy, and I'm so angry. I'm angry that we don't have a mother who loves us and who supports us. I'm angry that my little sister was crying for my MOTHER IN LAW for support, because she is AFRAID to go to our mother.

I'm sorry for all of this. I just need to find a way to get this out. I need a way to calm myself before I do something that I don't want to do, something that I'll regret later.

I'm a mother myself, and I truly can't understand how a mother could treat her children this way, and act like she doesn't even care. I honestly hope she falls down a set of stairs.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Kate* Offline
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Re: I'm so over this entire family. - June 19th 2016, 10:14 PM

Ade, I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to your little sister and that your mom is not the supportive person that either of you need right now. Whatever you feel is perfectly acceptable and understandable and you never have to apologize for feeling it or needing a place to put it all.

The sad truth is that we can't control what other people do. You can't make someone get help if they're not ready, you can't force someone to care if they don't, and you can't keep them from saying things that hurt. It doesn't mean you didn't try hard enough to help them, weren't good enough or didn't deserve what they couldn't give you.

You say you don't know what to do, but you're already doing it. You took her to the hospital, you got her the help you could, and you're there for her now. You're right, no one should have to go through this. If you think professional help is a good idea, offer to help her reach out when she's ready or go with her, but don't force it. And you can set boundaries with your mom; decide if and when you'll talk to her and if she calls like she did today and just goes off on you unfairly, it's okay to end the conversation. If she chooses to act this way, then you choose not to engage with her or to let her get to you. Easier said than done I know, but you have to take care of yourself first.

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