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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Always * Offline
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Abusive boyfriends and leaving a mark - October 16th 2016, 09:16 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

In high school and for my first year of university, I dated a guy who was abusive. He lied to me, he was manipulative and controlling, he stole from me, he forced me t have sex with him even when I said no or said it hurt, he put me down and so much more. He was never physically abusive but that doesn't make it ok because the mental scars are enough.

I originally wrote this post with a lot of detail. But I'm not sure I'm ready to share that with the world. Or if I'll ever be ok with sharing a lot of it. Maybe on a smaller low scale level. Suffice it to say, even years later I find myself being triggered. I'm so thankful I have a good therapist because I'm at least now able to recognize that the things that happened weren't ok and it's not going to rule my future. Alas, things this guy did also contributed to ED behaviours, but those behaviours are also driven by other experiences because fortunately (or unfortunately) he's not the only person / situation that's affected me and he doesn't get sole control over my life, just like my fear of failure is because of a whole other traumatic situation. Nonetheless, I didn't even recognize the abuse for a long time because it's not what I knew abuse looked like, and that's scary, I don't want other people to feel stuck or to put up with a guy who is like that.

My point is that if your in an abusive situation, I'm sorry, I'm here for you. Please try to be safe and get away to somewhere safer. You don't derserve people treating you badly and there are so many people out there who will support you, love you, value you in all your awesomeness and who will want to raise you up and help you see your worth. If you need to talk, pm me.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions

Last edited by Always *; October 17th 2016 at 02:57 AM.
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Re: Abusive boyfriends and leaving a mark - October 17th 2016, 02:15 PM

Thank you for posting this. If you ever want to share something about your experiences with someone you're more than welcome to send me a PM.

It's nice of you to want to take your experiences and use them to be a support for other people. I can't find any words to describe what going through something like this is like, but wanting to help other people because of it awesome of you and it's a way to make something terrible into something a little better.

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Re: Abusive boyfriends and leaving a mark - October 17th 2016, 08:08 PM

Thank you for sharing this with us. It really resonated with me, having gone through my own fair share of abusive situations and seeing others going through similar things, and yet not knowing that it is abusive.

I can't imagine what it must've been like for you, but it's very touching that you are here for others and want to use the negative experiences to help others. It's also okay if you don't feel comfortable sharing detail either

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Re: Abusive boyfriends and leaving a mark - October 20th 2016, 03:30 AM

Hey sorry to hear what you've gone through.
If you need to talk/vent, send a PM my way

PM me if you ever wanna talk. Send a message my way.
And remember, you matter. You're awesome. You're beautiful. Stay strong, the world will get better.

May The Force be With You.
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Re: Abusive boyfriends and leaving a mark - October 20th 2016, 05:05 AM

Thank you very much for posting this. For people like myself who have mostly been in abusive relationships/friendships it's good to know that they are not alone. I'm sorry that you've had to go through that. I am here for you if you need to talk or anything. I understand how tough it is. You've come out as a stronger person from this.

Stay Strong <3

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stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.

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