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Catsrmything Offline
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Exclamation Emotional Abuse? Help! - May 21st 2009, 12:58 AM

So I'm pretty sure that how my parents treat me is considered emotional abuse. I did a lot of research on it but I have a few questions:

First of I found this on one of the websites I looked at:

"There are some guidelines that can help distinguish between emotional disturbance and emotional abuse. The parents of an emotionally disturbed child generally recognize the existence of a problem, whereas the parents of an emotionally abused child often blame the child for the problems or ignore the existence of a problem. The parents of an emotionally disturbed child show concern about the child's welfare and actively seek help, whereas the parents of an emotionally abused child often refuse offers of help and appear punitive and unconcerned about the child's welfare. Although any of the forms of maltreatment may be found alone, they often occur in combination. And, emotional abuse is almost always present when other forms are identified."

So like my problem with this is my mother saw there was a problem after i told my school consoler about me being suicidal and she took me to a psycologest. So she like showed concern and I'm sure she was concerned I don't think she knows what she is doing to me is child abuse but she does know its hurting me and she still does it. I don't think she knows that its whats causing my social anxiety witch I am almost certain she and my father are the reasons for my anxiety. But then after a while of seeing my psycologest I had to go to a session alone (normally my mom would be in there with me) and it want great though I didn't tell her anything about anything really I just kinda talked about some stupid things my friends did that was funny. So after ward when my mom came to pick me up she asked if I wanted to come back again and because of my anxiety I couldn't say anything at all so I just never came back though I would like to go back and I'm pretty sure if I asked my mom to take me back she would. But my mom is always blaming me for my social anxiety and she seems to ignore that it exists some times. Like when she was signing me up for school I watched her fill out some forms and when she got to the part where it asked if there was any mental conditions or something like that that they should know about and to describe the symptoms she left it BLANK!!! And she knows that it effects my school work a lot and it would help if teachers knew so they would know what to do about my behavior but she still left it blank like there was nothing wrong with me. My social anxiety is why I'm failing P.E. right now and I feel like if my teacher knew about it there would be something she could do to help like put me on a smaller team when where playing sports with lots of people so I don't have to be surrounded by so many people.

So I guess my questions are: How do I report it? Who should I go to? It was extremely hard to tell someone about being suicidal and I did that by an email. This will be ten times harder. And what will happen after I tell someone? Will I have to go to trial or something or will I just get taken out of my parents custody. And where will I go? Will I go live with family or someone I don't know at all? I'd prefer to live with someone I don't know at all but I'd still like to stay in touch with my sisters I don't think I could live with my sisters or any other family member though after I do this because I would constantly feel like they blame me for telling on my parents. Will anyone listen to me? Will I get to decide who I live with? And if they don't think theres any abuse going on or they can't prove it will I still have to live with my parents? This is just all so confusing and I don't understand any of it will someone please help me? Oh and I'm sorry for the length of this but thank you so much for reading it.


-Bri
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Re: Emotional Abuse? Help! - May 21st 2009, 01:51 AM

Brianna,

Finding the line between emotional abuse and detached parenting is extremely difficult; not to mention proving that either of these are present. This is why it is difficult to define it as a crime. Most likely, your parents will not go to trial, and you will not be taken away. At best, you and your parents will be referred for Family Counseling.

I think that what could help you most right now is talking about what your parents do to upset you, and about the other bad feelings you have been having. Perhaps you should speak with your school counselor again, and tell her that you feel the need to go back to therapy? Otherwise, it may be helpful to speak with someone you trust, such as a close friend or relative. The most important thing is that you have support; stopping the abuse will come with this, but a bit later.

I wish you the best of luck, Brianna. Take care.



[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

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Wink Re: Emotional Abuse? Help! - May 21st 2009, 03:52 AM

I face a similar situation. My dad has been verbally abusing me and he thinks its his punishment to me for having attitude. But he gets the maddest when i try not to say anything at all so there is no attitude at all, but i digress, the easiest thing to do would be going back to your councilor or really any councilor, your schools perhaps,and privately tell him or her what you think is happening. He or she will either take action of sorts or explain what to to do to make it better. If there is some sort of extreme isolated incident calling the police may be necessary. If you ever want to talk send me an e-mail or a private message. Im here to help. Just get my info from my contacts.
Good Luck!


Michael S.

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Re: Emotional Abuse? Help! - May 22nd 2009, 01:15 AM

Brianna, definately try to talk to a school counselor or somethign to that affect. As for taking you out of yuor home, well I dont know to what extent the abuse is, but i dont think there going to take you out right away or at all. I hope everythings ok, pm me anytime.
Trix
   
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Re: Emotional Abuse? Help! - May 22nd 2009, 02:12 AM

So like ive tryed to talk to my parents about how it hurts me and i wish they would stop and they laughed at me and called me names and said it was all my falt until I couldnt stand it and I ran out of the house and sat behind the barn for like 3 hours crying trying to decide weather to commit suicide or just runaway. So finally i got my rational mind back and i went back inside and they laughed at me again when i came in. So I just went in my room and cryed myself to sleep. I go to a different school now then i did when i told my school counselor about being suicidal. and i dont really feel comfortable talking to my new school counselor. one girl in my school attempted suicide recently and i over heard her talking about how the school counselor told her to switch schools cause they cant help her here and i dont want her to say the same thing to me. and I just don't know anyone i could talk to.


-Bri
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Re: Emotional Abuse? Help! - May 26th 2009, 04:35 AM

Did you try talking to relatives? Grandparents, older cousins, aunts and uncles. Unless they treat you the same way, in which case I would recommend running away to the local police station or a patrolling car depending where you live, explain the situation and how you feel and they will help. Just remember, suicide is never the answer. Remember you can e-mail me or privet message me any time. I check for messages like five times a day. What ever when ever 24-7


Michael S.

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"Dieing is easy, living is hard" Unknown

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