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Unhappy Confused - November 23rd 2016, 04:29 AM

Me and my Boyfriend went out to the movies tonight... it started off picture perfect. he picked me up in his Truck he got for his 16th Birthday around 8. He brought me flowers and made the night so much fun. We got back to his parents house around 11 and they where in bed. He asked me to lay down with him and i made him promise nothing would happen (i feel so stupid now). He put his arm around me and we talked for 10 or 15 minutes and we began to kiss. One thing led to another and we made love for the first time As exciting as it was when i told him to pull out when he is getting close he didn't say anything. As he was getting closer to finishing i said it to him again to make sure he didn't since I'm not on any birth control. He just layed on top of me afterwards and rolled over. I felt a lot of warmth and pain coming from my vagina. After asking him several times he finally admitted that he had 'finished' in me twice without my consent! My mom passed away when i was maybe one or two and my Dad became a preacher. He absolutely condemns the use of birth control and premarital sex so i never even dare bring it up. i'm so scared I feel like such a stupid slut. I should have known better, I don't know how to talk about this with my boyfriend..... we've been together 8 months now....I feel ignored,used, and alone. I feel so dirty now, i just want the feel of him off of me
   
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Re: Confused - November 23rd 2016, 04:42 AM

Hi there,

That is definitely a tough situation to be in. What I highly recommend is going to the pharmacy when they open and get the morning after pill. I've had a couple slip ups and the morning after pill worked for me. If you are unable to get a hold of that, you can always go to your doctors or your emerge department. Usually if something is done within 72 hours it could stop the pregnancy (if one was to happen).

Also, you're not a slut. You didn't do anything wrong. Everyone does that at least once.

Definitely talk to someone in the morning about it though..

Let us know what happens!
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Re: Confused - November 23rd 2016, 10:37 AM

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Brittany made a good suggestion about going to a pharmacy and asking for the morning after pill as soon as possible.

It wasn't stupid of you to ask him to promise nothing would happen. He should've respected that right at the start. And he absolutely should not have finished in you without your consent, and when you had already asked him not to since you aren't on birth control.

I understand that without your mom, and your dad being a preacher, it must feel rather isolating to talk about things like sex. Is there anyone else that you could talk to, that you trust? Even though your dad is against contraception and pre-marital sex, you still deserve to have access to education on these topics, so that you can make your own informed decisions.

You are not stupid, or a slut at all. You did nothing wrong since you did ask that nothing sexual happens, and when it did, you did ask your boyfriend to pull out before finishing. Your boyfriend should've respected your wishes.

I understand that it can be a difficult thing to talk about with your boyfriend, but it sounds like he really does need to know how his actions have affected you and how you feel now. He needs to understand that what happened was unacceptable and that it shouldn't ever happen again. If he doesn't listen to you or takes your concerns seriously it may be worth evaluating whether it's safe to be with him.


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Re: Confused - November 23rd 2016, 12:08 PM

Well, although I do understand your feeling (Or at least imagine it), you need to communicate this with your boyfriend or someone else that you trust (If your boyfriend isn't that communicative)

Also, not intending to be condescending or hateful or whatever, but discuss using condoms or other alternative methods if your boyfriend is very sexual and come to an agreement towards sex. Although I do think your boyfriend needs to respect your wishes, the best case is that you both communicate about it and make agreements that respect both of the wishes you and your boyfriend have.

If he doesn't respect your wishes or you cannot respect his, break the relationship for your own and his goods.

By the way, you're NOT a slut, let me repeat, NOT a slut. If you cheated, you would've been one, but that's my personal opinion.


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Re: Confused - November 23rd 2016, 07:54 PM

Hey there,

Were you able to get to the pharmacy to get emergency contraceptive? I hope that you were able to.

I think that what your boyfriend did was extremely wrong and I think you need to reconsider if being in a relationship with him is the best thing for you. Do you want to be with someone who totally disregards your feelings regarding something so very important? You asked him repeatedly to pull out and he chose not to. He did not respect your wishes and if my boyfriend had done something like that the two times we had sex when I wasn't on birth control we would not still be together.

Now, if you stay in this relationship you need to discuss condoms. Pulling out is not an appropriate method of birth control. Even if your boyfriend had pulled out there still could have been a chance of you getting pregnant. If your boyfriend will not use condoms then you should tell him that you will no longer have sex with him. He needs to learn to respect your wishes.

I really hope that you are okay and if you need to talk feel free to message me.


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