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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Is it weird I never told anyone? - December 7th 2016, 08:50 PM

I didn't tell a single soul after my sexual assault. I was too nervous to even tell my therapist for months after I saw him... 5 years later after the incident. Why didn't I tell anyone?




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Re: Is it weird I never told anyone? - December 7th 2016, 10:23 PM

You may have not told anyone , because of some reasons. Some of those may included; embarrassed, or maybe that u felt like you couldn't handle the pressure. There are other reasons maybe why you didn't tell anyone.
   
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Re: Is it weird I never told anyone? - December 8th 2016, 11:05 AM

It's not weird at all. I have only just started opening up to close friends and my counsellor about the abuse that I went through in childhood. Then again, I have never physically spoken about it...just typed it.

I think everyone has their own reasons for not telling. It can be a nerve wracking thing to open up about it, and naturally you are going to feel vulnerable, something that many people try to avoid. You may also worry about what others might think or say, or whether you are to blame etc. One of things that I have realised is that when you actually talk about things, it may make it seem more real. And naturally, that can seem scary too.

At the same time, I think it's good to open up at your own pace. So it doesn't matter how long it took for you to talk about it, just as long as you feel safe and comfortable with the person you are telling.


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Re: Is it weird I never told anyone? - December 9th 2016, 12:07 AM

As the others said, it's not weird at all. It's important to work on your abuse at your own pace whether that means talking shortly after the incident(s) or waiting a few years to discuss them. Pushing yourself before you're ready could have a negative impact, so keep doing what feels right for you.

Also bear in mind that everyone heals differently. There's no set time or way for someone to heal.


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Re: Is it weird I never told anyone? - December 10th 2016, 08:27 PM

Hey

I don't think it is weird in any way. You said yourself you were feeling too nervous to tell anyone and that is what any kind of abuse can do to someone. Intimidate them, make them feel bad/guilty, make them nervous and scared and then that leads to people not reaching out for help which is understandable but also very sad and I am so sorry you have had to go through this yourself.

I will tell you I recently went to the police and reported historic abuse. Its become a big thing in my life in terms of where it could lead my abuser - prison. But it happened from when I was around 8/9 until I was fifteen. I am now 22, nearly 23 and seven years on I have only just made the disclosure about it because like you I was too nervous. I was scared and up until a point I didn't even realise what they had done to me was wrong so why would I report it?

I know this is hard and it can play on your mind a lot. But don't feel like this is weird; it is not. And we're always here for you to talk to as well. You are never alone in this.

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Re: Is it weird I never told anyone? - December 11th 2016, 07:39 PM

I've never really told anyone what has happened to me - other than a helpline that I learned to trust - there was a social worker who I tried to tell.... but it didnt like really go to plan as I couldnt like get the words out. Its something that isn't easy to talk about. It's not weird at all. maybe it might be an idea for you to talk to someone or somewhere like a hotline/helpline?



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