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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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hated by the family - May 22nd 2009, 05:43 AM

hi well i was raped twice by my step cousin. It came out and now my whole family knows, even his. His family hates me, his mom went and told everyone i slept with alot of guys which wasnt true. I hate it everyone hates me, His sister tried to run over me and my boyfriend while we were walking my dogs up my rode ( i live in the country). And by the way He wont admit it happened. I comfronted him with my mom by my side, you know what he said , " im full of s*** and that he still loves me" it hurt so much to hear that. I dont know what to do i was asked if i wanted to press charges but its been to long for evidence that ik i could never get him put away. Sometimes i think about hurting myself still. idk whats wrong with me or what to do ne more
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Re: hated by the family - May 22nd 2009, 06:22 AM

Hey hun, I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. But please don't blame yourself. This was NOT your fault and there is NOTHING wrong with you. What your step cousin did was horrible, but that does not make you horrible.

I'm sorry he wont admit to it and his family is taking his side. I know it feels near impossible, but just try and ignore them all. They are not worth listening to. I'm glad your mom seems to be supporting you through this. Have you thought about asking her to talk with a counselor? They can really help you to work through what happened.

And hun, hurting yourself is never the answer. You don't deserve any more hurt. You did nothing wrong and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.

If you want to make a report, It's not too late. Maybe you don't have the evidence to get him put away now, but making a report could be evidence used to put him away later if he does it again to someone else.

I hope you're okay right now and please pm me if you need to talk.
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but just being right where you are, who you are"

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Re: hated by the family - May 23rd 2009, 12:29 PM


Unfortunately, you're on the rotten side of the pool when it comes to sex and respect. However, you wouldn't be who you are today. I know it isn't a pleasant memory or event, but it does build character. It made you stronger, and I can see it in you. However, you don't need to always be the strong one. Everyone deserves a rest. Maybe you could get a restraining order against him? At least he wouldn't be able to get close to you then. Or, you can go to the police. Don't listen to your step cousins opinions or thoughts, what he did was wrong and it can ruin people. He need to fess up and own up to it. This way, it allows a little more closure for you.

Try talking to your mom and people who will listen. Remember to stay safe and we're all here for you.

~Stay strong and have faith.

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Re: hated by the family - May 28th 2009, 11:03 PM

It is always worse when it is someone in your family, at least you didn't get pregnant, small consilaton i know, but all the same. i know what it's like and i know what it's like for them to get a way with it, and others, but you have to know it is not your fault, amd nothing is wrong with you, i would suggest seeing a therapist though, it will help, it will not be fun but it will help.

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Re: hated by the family - May 29th 2009, 10:59 PM

Hey there,

I just want to say I think its amazing you could work up the courage to confront him. I honestly mean that. Its inspiring and only goes to prove how much courage you hold inside you.

The guy that has done this is a bad person. He should own up to what he's done. I know that it doesn't mean much when you need closure, but try to focus on the fact that YOU KNOW the truth and you have people like your mom on you're side. You're not alone in this process either.

Whether or not he admits it, you can be strong either way. To feel hatred from family members is something nobody deserves to feel. I'm so sorry that many people do not believe you. Its not fair at all.

Also, you were concieved with a beuatiful body and nobody wants you to harm it. It creates more pain and you need, need, need to remember that self harm will NOT change what's happened. When the relief of self harm has ended, after a few minutes you realize that your past still remains the same.

You can be strong, you can cry and you can hurt, but you don't have to let him take away every bit of hapiness that life owes you.

You can get through this,

Love is all we need. :]
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Re: hated by the family - May 30th 2009, 12:17 AM


I know things are bad right now and everyone accusing you of lying or not telling the truth does not help matters but if it counts for anything I believe you.
One of the hardest things someone can do is to stand up and take action against the person who abused you. I know it is hard to do but maybe it would help you to move forward. It's painful going over and over what happened but in the long run it really does help. You feel so much better for speaking up and for being honest about what has happened to you. I'm sure you wouldn't forgive yourself if you found out he did the same to someone else. I would strongly advise going to the police and telling them what happened. I know you probably no longer have any evidence but coming forward will help to get justice for what he did to you and it will make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else.
Please stay strong and message me anytime.
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