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Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
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Happened awhile ago. - February 4th 2017, 05:51 PM

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When I was still living in Russia I was with my mom. My dad left when I was around 6. I did see him later on but he left us when I was that age. When I was that young I didn't fully understand what heir to me was wrong, all the abuse. Even when he threatened me. My mom always blamed my dad leaving and I was really upset. I truly loved him. I never wanted him to leave me. I'd wait every night for him to come back. I was afraid of him but I wanted him. I think that this has definitle affected the way I see men, especially older men. Something stupid about me (and embarrassing) is that I look for guys to call my dad. I'm not looking for anything sexual, but guys usually take advantage of me anyway. There's noyhomh more o truly wamt than a dad. Its all I've ever wanted. I know I'm getting too old for this and its stupid, but its all I want.

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Re: Happened awhile ago. - February 4th 2017, 06:42 PM

Well, I mean, it makes sense. The men in your life, like your uncle and your dad, have hurt you and abandoned you. You need a male figure in your life to look up to, and it's not always in a sexual way. Do you have a close male friend you could talk to? Maybe you can start a sort of thing where he's a brotherly figure instead of a fatherly figure. The right man to look up to will come along at some point.

I'm sorry for the mess your uncle and father have put you through.
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Svetlanavolkova Offline
Svetlana Volkova
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February 4th 2017, 06:44 PM

No, I don't have any male friends. I wish I did. I'd prefer a father figure, I've been trying to get over this but I can't.

I just want a dad so badly.

Last edited by Lizzie; February 4th 2017 at 09:58 PM. Reason: Merge
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Celyn Offline
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Re: Happened awhile ago. - February 4th 2017, 08:23 PM

I am really sorry to hear about what your dad did to you. All your feelings are understandable though, and I do know the feeling of desperately wanting a parental figure in your life.

Kaleidoscope's idea about making male friends who can take a brotherly kind of role was good, though I'm sorry that you don't have any male friends.

I know it's hard to accept but no-one can replace your dad. It's okay to have male role models, and perhaps a fatherly figure, but it's unfair on someone to take on a father role towards you.

Are you in counselling? Perhaps you can talk with a male counsellor about this? It might help a bit being able to open up and get close with a male in a safe and supportive environment.

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ago, awhile, happened

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