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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Exclamation Dealing with my past abuse - August 17th 2017, 11:55 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

It's very difficult to talk about, because I feel embarrassed. I was molested by a family member when I was younger (quite a few times) and it's been very hard to deal with. I feel even worse, because if I say something I feel like I would be told to "toughen up" or that this only happens to women, which it doesn't. Overall, I just feel confused on how to deal with this situation. I try to hide my feelings, but I do feel very hurt.
   
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Re: Dealing with my past abuse - August 18th 2017, 12:02 PM

Welcome to TeenHelp, John.

Talking to someone you trust about this can help a lot. Although some people do think that abuse can only happen to women, in these times most people to not believe that and it is not likely that you will be told to toughen up. Sexual abuse is equally damaging to both men and women. Maybe you can choose someone you trust and work your way up to telling them. For instance, you could say that you sometimes struggle with negative feelings to see how they react before talking about your abuse.

Is seeing a professional an option to you? If so it is definitely worth looking into as it has the potential to help you quite a bit. In a setting with a professional you will have the chance to discuss your abuse, as well as process it and cope with the different feelings that arise. If it is not an option to you, there are definitely different self-help things you can do.

Feeling embarrassed is normal after being abused and something to tell yourself is that the only people who should be embarrassed are the people who did this to you. You did nothing wrong at all.

In the meantime, maybe you can work on showing your feelings whether that is just by yourself or around other people. Showing your feelings can be difficult but it gets them out of your mind and it could help you feel better.

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