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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Awkward Turtle
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Name: Maxwell
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Abusive Mom - November 3rd 2017, 09:07 AM

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I'm afraid of my mom, and It's not because I'm shy--though I am, kind of.
She yells at me, points out everything I do wrong and hits me, I've packed my stuff to run away but I just cant..my dad is really nice and we get along and he's my angel.
I'm scared of running away because my mom might find me and I'd get in so much trouble and I might hurt my dad into thinking it was because of him, I just want to get away from the abuse.
I've wanted to call the abuse hotlines..but I just can't.
Something in me is afraid of it, what if my mom gets arrested or something? I'd be in more trouble than i am already just posting this!
I don't have many friends, just two or four, although all on the internet because I can't have real life friends because of my mom being strict and needing to know everything like where they come from, if they sneeze and dab, that stuff.
Please help me, should I run away?
   
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Re: Abusive Mom - November 3rd 2017, 11:53 AM

Hi Maxwell,

Welcome to TeenHelp. I like your username, that’s a good song.

It is positive that you recognize the behaviors your mom’s displaying as abusive and even though that must be incredibly difficult it is nice that you have your dad. It seems like you get along very well with him and having a safe person in the midst of abuse can do a world of good. Do you ever lean on your dad? Is he aware of the fact that your mom hits you? Maybe you can discuss these things with him. Lean on him as much as you need to because he is your dad and that is what he is there for.

Calling abuse hotlines should be relatively safe. Many are anonymous and that is in your favor but despite these things the fear of having your abuser reported can be terrifying. If you ever feel comfortable enough to call a hotline it’s definitely worth giving it a try.

Running away is not the answer. It may seem like the answer but it isn’t. Think about how you’d survive outside of your house. Where would you live? Where would you get money and food from? What would you do after your ran out of clean clothes? The truth about running away is that your problems follow you. Your mom may not physically be around if you run away but the impact of how she has treated you and wondering whether or not she’l find you (that fear) will follow you.

Working through your abuse with a professional if you can and utilizing self-help techniques is what will help you be able to cope with the pain and lead a healthy life despite of still experiencing it from time to time. Running away will not achieve that for you.

I am here if you want to talk.


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Re: Abusive Mom - November 4th 2017, 07:25 PM

Hey there and welcome to TeenHelp

As said above, it's good that you recognise your mom's behaviour as harmful to you. You certainly don't deserve to be treated that way. It must be hard living in fear or your mom, but it's good that you seem to be close with your dad. I'm wondering if he has picked on how your mom treats you? Do you feel safe enough to open up to him about this?

Running away brings a whole host of new problems and generally isn't advised. But it doesn't mean that you have to put up with the abuse either. Whenever your mom abuses you, remember that it's something within her that is causing the abuse; it's not your fault and you've not done anything to cause it.

Calling abuse hotlines could be a helpful step to take, though I know the fear of making the situation worse can get in the way of that. As it's been said, hotlines are usually anonymous, and if you wanted, you could give a fake name and remember that there is nothing stopping you from ending the call if you start worrying about what might happen. You could always ask them to explain what policies they might have on breaking confidentiality. Most of the time, they won't break confidentiality unless you are at serious risk of harming yourself/being harmed or harming others.

You shouldn't get in trouble for posting this. If you are using a shared device, be sure to clear your history if you are concerned about your mom stumbling across TeenHelp.

Internet friends can still be just as supportive as those in real life. How would you feel about telling a friend about what you are going through? While they shouldn't encourage you to run away, they can be a good source of support when you are feeling low and things seem to be tough.


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