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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Somethings been bothering me.. - May 27th 2009, 04:32 AM

I don't know if I could call it 'abuse' or molestation...but lately it's been eating away at me and I don't know why.

So, here's the story, when I was around 9 or 10, I was very sheltered, I didn't know anything about sex...AT ALL. I had some friends who knew all about it, so I didn't understand their humor most of the time. Well, one day, we were playing truth or dare outside at a park. It was this blond boy's turn, and he chose dare. The dare was...to touch me. (previously I told this girl I thought the guy was 'cute' because I thought all girls had to like guys. he was very nice, I remember asking him to play all the time. i thought it was a crush, this being my first crush) They used a slang I didn't really understand (she told him to finger me.) I cannot BELIEVE I was that sheltered. Anyway, I kept asking what it meant, as they were walk behind the fence. I was being ignored. I was confused, when he went into my pants I felt sick and knew something was NOT OKAY about this. He got inside me, and oh my god...It hurt, a lot. They laughed at me afterwards. He never talked to me again, it was so awkward riding the bus. I felt humiliated and trashy for years. :\ I mean, I was older so it shouldn't matter as much, but I've noticed that somethings off. I feel sick thinking about it, any sexual experiences that involve fingering freak me out and I start feeling the weird nausea.
Why is it hurting now? I put it to the back of my mind for so long, practically forgot about it all, I thought it was gone.



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Re: Somethings been bothering me.. - May 27th 2009, 05:14 AM

Yes this is considered molestation...as for you did not give them permition to do it....I think its bothering you now because you pushed it so far back in your mind then that it slowley come sback and it finally came back to your mind...this has happened to me with something and I couldnt push it back anymore...I had to kind of try and deal with it or avoid it but it did go away after a while...Maybe going to councaling and talking about it might help you deal with it and move on from the situation. Or talking to a really close friend...I know talking about things seems hard and sometimes it makes them worse but somethings gonna get worse for them to get better. I know my thoughts got worse once i talked about them but then they got a lot better... I hope this helped a little if not im sorry i tried


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Re: Somethings been bothering me.. - May 27th 2009, 05:47 AM

I've told a close friend, the release really helped but just wasn't enough. :\ I think I'll definitely start counseling again, for other problems as well..thanks for your help



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Re: Somethings been bothering me.. - May 28th 2009, 07:34 PM

Hey, I'm not sure if you still needd advice, but I don't think it can hurt.

Yes, this is molestation. He violated you and although he was the same age, it doesn't make this right. Trust me, you were not THAT sheltered. I didn't know what that term meant until maybe 8th grade. 10 year olds shouldn't know what it means and its not your fault you were left in a situation to find out.

You said you were older, so it shouldn't have mattered as much. I'm not sure if you mean that 10 is a reasonable age to start sexual activity, or if you mean you're older now so it shouldn't bother you.

Either way I disagree. I truly don't mean for that to sound harsh in any way. Ten, or nine, is not a reasonable age to start sexual activity.

And its is completely, completely understandable as to why you're so haunted and bothered by this memory. Please don't let yourself think that this shouldn't bother you, if it didn't I'd be a little worried.

When memories are surprerssed and placed in the back of our minds, our bodies eventually let the parts of our brain release those memories. What you feel is completely understandable. Don't ever for one second think that what happened is your fault. You're not dirty and you're not gross. I promise you that. You should deffiniatley start up counsilling again. I'm sure it would be very helpful.

Hopefully these memories will pass with time.

Good luck,
-Christina


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