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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Aiyannah Offline
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So... what would this be called? Punishment or Abuse? - March 23rd 2018, 09:13 PM

Yes, Hi, so um... I'm not exactly someone who makes good choices 24/7. I have gotten into drugs, have had sex, and so on. But I don't hate on people. I never judge or criticize and I am definitely NOT a hypocrite.

Anyways, so when I was going into 8th grade, my father and I got into an argument. I tried to walkout (my mistake) to get fresh air and calm down and he blocked my path, trying to get me back to the couch so he could call my mom and spank me. Well I needed air or I would have an anxiety attack, and he would keep wrestling with me, and finally started hitting the side of my head with resulted in me biting him. He pushed me down and wouldn't let me get up for several minutes, but when I did I ran away.

Before that my mom would make sly remarks about my weight and body shape, which now I am very self-conscious about my body and try to stay to the "perfect size".

And I lied to my mom, which resulted in her hitting me in my face and bruising the bridge of my nose and where my glasses lay. Also gave me a minor concussion.

And I have been touched sexually by a very trusted person while I was asleep, and when I cried to my mom about it, she told me to quit being so dramatic and stop being a baby.

Now this year, my mom found out I was dating a 19 year old (I'm not allowed to date because my mom thinks that I will become a hoe or something).
She also found out I smoked pot and called the cops because I cussed at her for bruising my back while whooping me. My mom found out I also self-harm and showed my stepdad my cuts, to which he replied "I have better things to cut yourself with that make deeper cuts, if you want them." and laughed at me.

The cops came and my mom didn't tell them the full story on my situation. She told the cops that I snuck out all the time to have sex with guys (a complete lie, btw. I am very loyal to my boyfriends.)

Now I have to go to counseling and my parents have barely started looking for counselors after about 3 weeks since everything happened.

My mom told my entire family everything, even after telling me that what happens stays within the house. Now my family told their friends and now everyone in town knows what has happened and some people talk crap about me.

I have told my friends what has happened, and they say to go to the cops. But thing is that the cops believe every word my parents say because apparently "they do things for my own good".

And I've accidentally read some of my parents' texts and they all want to go to my love's house and harass him since my love won't have proof of any harassment. They originally were gonna harass him through texts but changed their mind to face-to-face. (btw my relationship with this guy has always been nonsexual since I am not of-age yet. It isn't illegal because of the Romeo and Juliet Law.)

And my parents have also been telling me that my happiness does not matter, that what matters is that I am successful in the future.

I don't know if any of this would be considered abuse or punishment or what. Any opinions on what this stuff is?
   
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Re: So... what would this be called? Punishment or Abuse? - March 24th 2018, 02:27 AM

I'm very sorry about what you're going through. That's 100% abuse, and that's coming from someone who's been through severe and various forms of abuse. Please dm me if you want, if you need to talk don't hesitate.


   
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Re: So... what would this be called? Punishment or Abuse? - March 24th 2018, 01:50 PM

Yes, what you've experienced and are experiencing is abuse. You were touched by someone in a sexual way, which is unacceptable and you've been physically abused as well. The things your parents tell you are emotionally abusive and that's not okay.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? You've talked to your friends; do you think they could come with you for support to speak to an adult that you trust? Maybe that would help.


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Aiyannah Offline
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March 24th 2018, 07:16 PM

My friends and I have tried to do just that. They had to drag me to the counselors because I was scared that no one would believe me. The school counselor did believe me, but said that she couldn't do anything since there isn't any proof.

My ex, friends, and I are now trying to document things at home by writing in journals with what we experience and hear (my mom threatened to beat me for simply talking in front of my friend), and they are going to take pictures and hopefully once we can go to the counselor again with proof, things'll be better.

Awh, thanks. My friends, ex, and I are trying to now document things that happen to meso we can go to someone with proof. Hopefully things'll change after that.

I'll actually DM you as soon as I get to school, since I am able to be online more often than the weekend. That'll be in two days for me.

Thanks for the support. I'm trying to stay as positive as I can~

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; March 25th 2018 at 10:57 AM. Reason: Posts were three minutes apart. Merging to tidy up and to prevent 'spam like' behavior.
   
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Re: So... what would this be called? Punishment or Abuse? - March 25th 2018, 11:00 AM

Hey,

I think documenting everything is important. I think that if you are being hit and it is leaving bruises it is important to document that. The hardest thing about abuse is being able to prove that it is occurring. So, if you have documentation it might help with that. If they send anything or there is any way you can record the verbal abuse that might help too. I can't guarantee it as I do not know what police or CPS would take as evidence but it might be worth it to try. However, do not do this if it would put you in any more danger.

Keep hanging in there and continue utilizing teenhelp if you need.


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Re: So... what would this be called? Punishment or Abuse? - March 26th 2018, 09:16 AM

I am so sorry about what you'r going through. It is abuse and it's sad, they are the people you should trust and rely on and they betrayed your trust and falsley shamed you to everyone. Unfortunately they are your parents so they will be believed before you, but you need to report the inappropriate touching, that is another kind of abuse that can not remain a secret! Do not punish yourself.
   
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