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Dust and Ash
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Just an update on home... - May 24th 2018, 05:12 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Last Saturday was the day I realized I have no feelings for my stepfather. At. All.

We got in a fight over social media, and my mom started yelling and cussing at me, meanwhile poking my chest super hard. I waved her off and she said, "You wanna do this?" She hit me and I flipped her off and she screamed and grabbed my shoulders, pinning me against the bed and hiting me more. She pulled my hair and screamed more. After that, she called my stepdad into the room and he tried to spank me, but I wouldn't let him. After all I never laid a finger on my mother. He then grabbed my neck and choked me, pinning me to the floor and hitting my head, grabbing my hair and slamming my head against the floor. I cussed him out when he finally let me go, and he threw me across the room and choked me again. He told my mom to shut the door as he began choking me again. She walked away as I cried to her. He petted my hair, saying he loved me while I told him I hated him. They called the cops on me, and just when I thought the cop believed me, BAM. My parents go and make me the bad guy again.

The only good thing to come out of that is my sister realizing that I'm being abused, and me finally getting a counselor. I have my first meeting with her next week on Monday.

Also, anyone remember me being sexually assaulted by my brother?

Turns out I was right.

He was awake. The entire time he knew what he was doing. I know because I was telling my sister what has happened the past year and told her, and she knew it was my brother. Last summer, he had done the exact same thing to her, and worse, for over a week. But we are scared to tell anyone, but we know we have to let our real dad know what has happened. We aren't 'telling" on our brother, simply letting are dad know what has happened.

Also found out some info about my real dad.
He has attempted to end his life on multiple occasions, has been in 3 mental hospitals, and also knows that his twin brother molested my favorite aunt.

My sister and I are suddenly so much closer. But I'm terrified of my stepdad. I apologized to my mom and stepdad, but I can never truly forgive him. I mean, what he did literally makes me stay away from him. I don't talk to him unless I have to, and I never look at him.

But hey, I get to go to counseling now, right?

I just... this has been a crazy way for summer to start...

Btw, feel free to move this if it doesn't fit this forum.

When the world drags you down, roll over and smell the roses.
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Re: Just an update on home... - May 24th 2018, 09:30 PM


Thanks for updating us on how you've been doing. It definitely sounds like what you just went through was an intense way for your summer to start.

It can be hard to realize you're being abused and it can take time but it is good that you've been able to realize it; it may help you with beginning to accept it. It is nice to hear that you and your sister have become close as well. Hopefully the two of you can lean on each other as valuable supports throughout this ordeal.

Know that you don't have to forgive your step dad now, or ever if you're not ready to. For some, forgiving is part of the healing process but it isn't for others. You have to do what is best and most comfortable for you.

How are you feeling about your counseling appointment? Do you have any questions or concerns you want to talk about before you meet with your counselor?

I am just a PM away if you want someone to chat with.

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Re: Just an update on home... - May 25th 2018, 06:25 PM


Thank you for the update! It sounds like you are dealing with so much and have been for a while. I am really sorry that the cops didn't believe you; it must be hard to be dealing with this and have the authorities take the side of your abusers. I hope that talking to the therapist will help. Maybe you will be able to get to a place where you'll feel comfortable letting her know what is happening. It's possible that if you did let the counselor know what was going on she would believe you and try and get you help. While there are a lot of adults that have let you down it is still possible to find others who will help.

As for your brother, it must be difficult to realize that that has happened and the person knew what they were doing. However, I am glad that you have your sisters support while coping. Hopefully the two of you will be able to reach out to your real dad and get support or something like that.

I hope you will continue utilizing TeenHelp and I hope that you will be able to find some relaxing and fun things to do during the summer holiday.

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Re: Just an update on home... - May 27th 2018, 09:06 AM


I'm really glad you keep updating us on what's going on (though I wish you didn't have to )!

Most of what I wanted to say has already been said by those two lovelyyy people, so I guess I'll just say this! I want you to remember that what's happening right now isn't your fault, and you don't have to forgive your stepdad for the things he's been doing if you aren't ready to. I know a lot's been dumped on you in such a short time and I hope summer is a much calmer time for you.

I'm so glad you have support from your sister and a counselor now, please don't hesitate to keep us updated on what's going on <3

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whatever lies beyond this morning
is a little later on."
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Re: Just an update on home... - May 30th 2018, 09:14 AM

Reading this has made me very angry at your family and very proud of you and the strenght you have to keep going and apologizing? My God, I wish I could be that strong. Good things will eventually come to you!
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