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kcgrl17 Offline
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flashbacks.. - June 2nd 2009, 05:35 PM

okay so i dont know what to do, I've been having flashbacks of something that happened to me like 5 years ago. i was raped at the park and never told anyone intil like last week. I held it in for 5 years and blocked it out of my mind i was fine and then all of a sudden it comes back. My parents want me to talk about it in counceling but i dont trust my councelor. I dont know what to do i cant sleep at night so im missin a lot of school which is getting me into trouble. It's tearing me up inside, the thought that he's still out there because I never told anyone til now is killing me.I dont get why this is happeneing i feel guilty about it.
   
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Re: flashbacks.. - June 2nd 2009, 05:47 PM

Heya there,

Well done for being brave and telling us about this, it must have been hard for you.
I'm sorry that you had to go through such a terrible experience, nobody should have that happen to them, and no matter what you may think, you didn't deserve it.

5 Years to go not speaking about it is an incredibly long time, so I can understand how awful you must be feeling right now. But now can be the time where you can get help with this, you don't need to suffer all by yourself. You say you don't trust your councellor, is there any way that you could ask to get someone else that could help you better? It's always easier to talk to someone that we get along with and trust.

As for the flashbacks, try to 'ground' yourself as much as you can. That means making yourself aware of your surroundings and keeping your focus in the room (if you're in one). Try counting 5 things that you can hear/see/touch/taste/smell, describe each one in as much detail as you can, eg. "i see a chair, it's green, has a pattern on it, 4 legs, it's smooth" Also keeping control of your breathing can make you just that bit more relaxed so that everything isn't tense.

I hope that you're okay, if you want to talk you can PM me.

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Re: flashbacks.. - June 2nd 2009, 09:08 PM

hey thanks, ill try that. i've tried to get a new councelor but around here no one takes my insurance so i cant find a new one.
   
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Re: flashbacks.. - June 5th 2009, 12:01 AM

Hey,
I know how you feel. I recently went through the same thing you are right now. I was molested and almost raped 5 years ago and I just started having flashbacks and nightmares in December of this year. I went through depression after that and I have to say that it was a long journey to get to the point where it doesn't bother me as much, but I did get there. What happened to you was wrong and completly NOT YOUR FAULT! There is no one to blame but the person who did this to you. He made you do something you didn't want to do.

Now, as for counseling, I think you should tell your counselor what happended. They have the training to now how to help in these situations. If you feel that you can't get through this alone, a counselor is a good person to talk to. Posting your story on here was a wise and brave thing to do. It'll help.
PM me if you ever need to just talk or vent


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