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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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I dont no what to do... - June 8th 2009, 12:26 PM

I was abused for two years by somone who i thought was my friend. When i started to hang out with him more he started yelling at me alot then he would hit me and he would hold me down then it got alot worst. He would touch me and i dont no what to do now. I wonder if its my fault but i always cry when i go to sleep and i dont have many friends now. Because of what he did i cant trust many people. Since i keep remembering what he did and my parents try to get me psychiatric help but i dont trust (the doctors) them i really need to no what to do.

Last edited by AlexsShadow; June 8th 2009 at 12:47 PM. Reason: Forgot some things
   
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Re: I dont no what to do... - June 8th 2009, 01:57 PM

Im so sorry this happened to you. The most important thing to consider is that IT ISNT YOUR FAULT. That is the most important thing you have to remember. The second is that you dont have to tell your psychiatrist right away. Example? Ive been seeing my psychiatrist for months now (since february) and i pretty much just talked about everything else. I only told her about two weeks ago that i was raped which was the whole reason for going in. What i recommend doing is telling your parents that you will go see the therapist ONLY and here is the catch, ONLY if you can tell her/him what the problem is yourself. That gives you time to talk to them and come to trust them on your own time. The other thing to remember is that its ok to cry. You are allowed. Its natural to.

It is so good that you are telling people what happened. You need to talk to someone that can help you deal with it. Keep talking to us on here and feel free to PM me if you need to talk ok hun?

Keep fighting.
   
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Re: I dont no what to do... - June 8th 2009, 02:23 PM

I no i should tell my psychiatrist but i havent really talked much and never told her about what happened yet and its been a few months.
   
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Re: I dont no what to do... - June 8th 2009, 04:44 PM

Its ok, you dont have to tell her right away. There are people that go years without telling. Just know that your doctor isnt there to judge you. She shouldnt say anything mean. If she does? Leave the room. She has no right to make you inferior. So, dont let her.

Talking about it seems hard and you feel like you cant trust anyone right now. Thats normal. It might help tho to get it all out there. Because secrets are always easier when you share them with someone. It will be ok. Maybe tell her some of it. Not all of it. Just to test her reaction and see. Thats kind of what i did. And then, if you are comfortable with her reaction tell her the rest.
   
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Re: I dont no what to do... - June 9th 2009, 02:39 AM

The main reason i havent told many people other then my mom,dad,and sis is cause my sister kept telling its all my fault that i was friends with and that it happened and she still says it to me (typed this on my psp)
   
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Re: I dont no what to do... - June 9th 2009, 04:15 AM

it is NOT your fault. Dont listen to her. Tell someone that she is saying this because she has no right to. The person that raped me in December was my friend but it was in no way my fault. Just like what happened to you wasnt your fault. What you went thorough, was horrible. And someday you will come to terms with it. I promise. It gets better.
   
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Re: I dont no what to do... - June 9th 2009, 04:26 PM

Heya Alex,

Your sister had no right to tell you it was your fault. She's never been through something like this herself, she won't ever know exactly what happened. You can't listen to what she says because she doesn't have any right to tell you the abuse wasn't your fault. And either way, Alex, she's wrong. Abuse is never, ever the victim's fault. You didn't ask for the abuse to happen and you didn't make your friend hurt you. You aren't to blame here - the blame rests entirely with the person who hurt you.

Not everyone will react the way your sister did, Alex. There will be people you can trust, people you can talk to about this without having to worry about their reaction. If they don't understand or say it was your fault, talk to someone else. Keep looking for that support and don't get discouraged just because of one person's reaction. They aren't worth listening to if they tell you something like this. There will be people you can lean on for help, people who will support you every step of the way and help you heal from what's happened. Those are the people who're worth listening to.

It's ok, Alex, if you haven't told your counselor everything just yet. Talking about abuse can be scary and it's not easy to do. If you don't feel you're ready to talk to your counselor right now, then wait. Take it at a pace you're comfortable with, take it at your own rate and don't rush yourself. Don't push yourself to do something you're not ok doing. Try breaking it down into smaller pieces, maybe. Tell your counselor one little bit of what happened and build up from there. Sooner or later, you'll have the whole story out, but you'll have gotten it out at your own pace. When you break it down, it can be easier to cope with, easier to handle than seeing the big picture all at once.

You don't have to be alone with coping with this, Alex, you have so much support around you. Don't be afraid to lean on the people around you for support because if they care about you, they'll want to help you as much as they can. I'm here if you want to talk about anything, ok? Take good care of yourself, stay strong. <3



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