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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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theunforgiven Offline
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Need Help Dealing - June 9th 2009, 01:00 AM

Last year, I was sexually used by someone who I thought I could trust (not a family member, a guy who was interested in me) but I never told my parents about the incident and I never really dealt with it even though it happened in my home.

Now a guy who I have known for a long time and we have the same feelings for each other is coming to visit for five days before we go to college together. I've met him before and my father has met him and I trust him but I'm afraid to bring him into the setting where it happened, as he would be sleeping in the bed where it happened to me and that thought disturbs me to no end.

I still have nightmares about what happened and I've never really dealt with it. Is there any advice anyone can give me to help me move on and deal with this before he comes? (He knows that I was sexually used but he doesn't know where it happened or anything.)
   
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Re: Need Help Dealing - June 9th 2009, 04:07 PM

Hey,

If you trust him, be honest with him. Tell him where the abuse happened and how him sleeping in the bed is going to make you feel. You might be able to work something out, switch beds or something so you won't have to worry about this [or at least not as much]. Communication seems like the best way to go here, because if you keep it bottled up inside it's just going to affect you more, and it'll be harder to cope with.

Coping after abuse is always tough but it's harder when you're on your own. I think because you never told your parents what happened and because you didn't deal with it right after it happens, it's affecting you more now. Pushing something to the back of your mind only works for so long; sooner or later, what you're trying to repress is going to come back stronger than before. That being said, though, it's never too late to get help and reach out for support. Talk to your parents about what happened, talk to a friend, think about seeing a counselor.

Again, if you trust him, talk with him. Don't be afraid to be open or tell him what's on your mind. Keeping quiet will only hurt you more. I'm here if you want to talk about anything, ok? Take good care of yourself and hang in there. <3



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