Yesterday (may trigger both sh and abuse)

[butterflygirl_13]

Yesterday i met with my counselor and we were working on my treatment plan. She broght up theabuse and started asking me questions about it. It was so hard for me to answer them i hated it i tried to avoid answering them. She said that we were going to talk about again another day.
People tell me i need t get over it and move on some tell me it will help if i talk about it but ive dicovered it dont. The first time i really talked about i was suicidal and it got me 7 days at Lewis-gale and im afraid if i talk about it again ill be sent back. Last night i cut i waned to die i couldnt handel the fact that it had happen and i began having flashbacks.. How can i get through this if i cant talk about it???

[Pretty_Empathic_Redhead]

Try writing it down. I find that when i write its different than saying it out loud and you can avoid having to answer all sorts of questions about it. I know that its hard to think about, i was raped myself. So try and do things that occupy your mind. Homework, take up a new hobby, but most of all what helped me was writing it all down. I could scream in my head, cry, and all the while just write it down. Its less personal when you write it down.

PM me anytime!

[Rudnet]

I agree with Pretty_Empathic_Redhead.

You should try writing it down and if you have someone you can entirely trust may be you should show it to them. They can do something to help you.

Putting your mind in a new thing also helps. When I was down to my knees in hurt, I tried writing stories and found that it helped me. So may be you should try doing something like that. There's many things like meditation and yoga that can help you. Or you can take up dancing.

So, I really hope this helps.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey,

I agree, you should write it down. When you are done writing it down you could give your therapist the piece of paper you wrote it on and explain to her that talking about it right now is way too hard. She should respect that. Talking about it can help but YOU have to be ready to talk about it and it sounds like right now you aren't; which is okay.

Hope this helped and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm or aim me.

[butterflygirl_13]

My counselor just left and 2morrow i have another session with her. She made this chart like thing and each session i choose from that list of what i want to talk about and i think 2morrow im goin to choose to talk about the abuse and get it over with and out of the way idk if its a good idea or not but i just want to get it over with.
Im going to try to tak to someone from church b4 i make up my mind maybe they can help me to talk about it calmly & maybe i cant do it w/o being a total wreck after.


Thanks for the suggestions ive tried writting it down but i dont write down everying i usually leave out a lot unless im asked questions and even then i sometime dont answer them.

[SimplyComplex]

Maryann,

First of all, let me say how incredibly strong you are for considering to talk about something that's obviously so hard for you. I can tell you honestly, it was/is difficult for me to think of too. Especially discuss. It can really open your mind to thinking about the situation and how it's affecting your present life. It will not be easy, either way. In addition, the longer you keep this inside, the more it's able to build up and cause more of a distraction for you. Keeping it inside, won't make it any easier to deal with in the future. Those are just the harsh realities, it doesn't mean you should rush anything or talk before you feel a little bit comfortable.

You took an enormous step talking about it to us on here, and then to people from church and you're even trying to answer difficult questions - this is all progress. Very good progress and it's something to be proud of and recognize. Remember that you're in no rush to tell anything you're not ready for. Waiting won't harm you, it might benefit you. But you need to be ready for some discomfort after, but in time, good might come from all of this. You need to keep your eyes on the prize and realize that the winnings are so worth the troubles it takes to get them. Don't doubt your strength because it takes someone with extreme strength to live through what you did and continue to admit it's hard. You're doing something so many girls haven't even tried, you're on the right track and it's okay to take a break every so often to rest. Remember that you're not alone and even if you can't cover everything in one session, be proud of what you did cover and know your limitations.

We're all here for you every step of the way, okay? Being alone in any of this is one thing you don't need to worry about ever, because the community here won't let that happen. If you need to talk to someone who can understand where you're coming from, I'm only a PM away and I'm sure others are more than willing to listen and help as well. Take care of yourself because you're going to get through this. :]

-Have hope

[butterflygirl_13]

Im Starting my sophmore year of high school August 19 which is very early and Im really worried about going back to school because of him. I havent had to see him all summer except once. Im really worried about us havin classes together or havin tha same lunch or just seein him at all. idk...... If anyone has any advice on wat to do once school starts it will really help me out..

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey Maryann,

That is a very hard thing to deal with. It is probably inevitable that you are going to have to see him some what but if your parents and counselor know about this maybe they could request that the school ensure that you do not have any classes with your abuser.

I think you should tell your counselor how uncomfortable you are with going back to school and seeing him and ask her what she thinks you can do. You could even make the suggestion above about trying to make sure you don't have any classes with him. Talk to your counselor and I am sure she can help you figure this out and start to feel a little bit more comfortable about this.

Hang in there and if you need to talk feel free to pm me.

[daina_aka_buffy_1989]

write about it , draw how you feel, talk to people you trust about it.. If you'd like to talk to me more just pm me