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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
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It was my fault. >.< - June 13th 2009, 04:52 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well, today my boss got fired. For sexual harassment. Of me. Sexually harassing me. I told my district manager with my mum's...encourage meant.She forced me to. Today I had to give the hr lady my statement, which meant telling her everything that happened, where, when, etc. Hard as hell.

I'm not doing okay. Him hurting me, was all my fault. I deserved it. Or at least it seems like it was my fault.Everyone keeps telling me I did the right thing, but it doesn't feel like it. What he did to me, yes it wasn't right. He was harassing and hurting me for 3-4 months. But gah. I feel like shit and I
'm just upset. No Idea why I'm posting it though. I guess, I'm just..upset. It is my fault. Gah.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: It was my fault. >.< - June 13th 2009, 04:59 AM

I'm going to be another person to tell you that you did the right thing. I know it may not seem like that right now but believe me, in time you'll realize that you did the right thing. What your boss was doing to you was so very wrong. You should not have had to experience such a horrible thing. I'm sorry that you did.

Please don't say that you deserved it. Even if you did something (which you probably didn't) I'm sure that you didn't deserve what you experienced. No one deserves to be treated like that, no matter what they did. This is probably literally going in one ear and out the other. I can understand that because you must be upset about what happened. Just, try to consider what I'm saying.

Dealing with something like this must not have been easy, especially since you had to retell the story countless times to your mom, the police and other people. It must have been really difficult for you. But you pulled through, didn't you? After all that you've been through, you still got through all of this. That's definitely something to be proud of. Think of it this was as well: now your sick freak of a boss can't hurt anyone else.

You did the right thing; don't ever think otherwise. Most importantly, know that you did nothing to deserve it.


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Re: It was my fault. >.< - June 13th 2009, 09:03 AM

It is never your fault.
   
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Re: It was my fault. >.< - June 13th 2009, 09:42 AM

It wasn't your fault and you have done the right thing. You don't deserve what he was doing to you and he doesn't deserve to get away with it, I understand it would be hard to tell people about it but it's for the best at the end of the day because then it all comes to an end and you can carry on about life as normal without worry of it happening to you again x
   
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Re: It was my fault. >.< - June 13th 2009, 04:49 PM

Casey-

It was not your fault. And you know what--I think that deep down you do know that. Someone once told me that the reason we blame ourselves for things like this is because as humans, we want to have reasons for things, justifications. It's a whole lot easier to blame ourselves and say "Oh yep that was my fault" as opposed to the alternative, which is, "Well, the world is just a really scary place where bad things can happen out of my control". You know? So we blame ourselves to make ourselves feel better in some ways.

It is completely understandable that you feel awful right now. It won't feel like that forever. Keep posting, reaching out, and allowing yourself to FEEL, no matter how or what you feel. Take good care of yourself and I'm here. <3




"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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Re: It was my fault. >.< - June 14th 2009, 01:51 AM

You are in no way at fault for this. Your boss had no right to do the things that he was doing to you and he should pay; he should know that he cannot get away with treating people like that, hurting them.

You know what? I think you are an extremely brave person for going through this and then reporting him. It is so hard to report these types of things and it is so hard to deal with the aftermath of the reporting that many people choose not to do it. But, you did and that makes you a very strong person.

Please quit blaming yourself because no one deserves such things. Hope things start getting better for you and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm or aim me.


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Re: It was my fault. >.< - June 14th 2009, 05:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeautifulDisaster1819 View Post
You are in no way at fault for this. Your boss had no right to do the things that he was doing to you and he should pay; he should know that he cannot get away with treating people like that, hurting them.

You know what? I think you are an extremely brave person for going through this and then reporting him. It is so hard to report these types of things and it is so hard to deal with the aftermath of the reporting that many people choose not to do it. But, you did and that makes you a very strong person.

Please quit blaming yourself because no one deserves such things. Hope things start getting better for you and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm or aim me.
^^ That, but I would like to add one more thing.

I'm so proud of you.



||I knew when I looked in his eyes ||
||That he was gonna be
trouble for me ||


PM||VM

   
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Re: It was my fault. >.< - June 27th 2009, 05:49 AM

its not your fault, although it is natural to feel like it is.

but i swear to you on my mothers grave it is not your fault.
   
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