TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
RoadtoRuin Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
RoadtoRuin's Avatar
 
Name: Gi
Gender: Female
Location: Falkland Is.

Posts: 6
Join Date: June 13th 2009

Please Help ~triggering SH~ - June 13th 2009, 09:38 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

SoÖ I started a new job on Monday- though technically didnít start until tonight, as before I was just going in on my own time. And my boss usually invites his part-timers/customers in for a drink after pub-kick out after 11:30. As I got on well with the guy, and had him down as decent, I accepted his invitation to have a few drinks to celebrate the start of a new weekend and the end of a very busy (and first, for myself) night, as he lives in an apartment above the bar.

I donít really want to go into detail, only to say that it wasnít actually full on rape- justÖ almost 45 minutes where he wouldnít let me up and kept trying to get me to have sex with him.
Hell. Iím most definitely just over-reacting, but Iíve never had sex before and no matter what I said he wouldnít let me up, and sexual situations put me into a panic anyway- I can barely managed to hold the hand of a boy Iíve known for years and would like to eventually have intercourse with. Anything above a split second embrace from a person other than my close family, and Iím pushing people awayÖ
And, I mean, obviously it was my fault- I let myself get into that situation, I accepted the invitation and I should have known better.
But my Mother has already warned me (cause my boss is single) not to allow myself into that situation- but neither of us have a job yet- except this part-time work with this guy- and thisís both my mother and I, though Iím a permanent part-timer, and my mother is a reserve if the place gets really busy.
But itís money and at least three times every week- which is my only income right now andÖ Christ, Iím so pathetic. Iím making excuses for money which may give the impression that as long as he keeps bringing me in and paying me, that he can get away with it.
And- itís really crap, as itís been almost a year since I SH-ed, but I got home, ducked into a shower to get rid of the feeling, and instantly found myself SHing.
Itís justÖ so unfair, because I really enjoy working there, I like the people, like the atmosphere and of course the moneyÖ but thatís really a situation I could do without getting into.
Hell, Iím sorry, I just knew I had to get this out of me, knew I couldnít let it turn in, because while it wasnít full on intercourse, it was bloody close enough and bad enough and Iím blaming myself and telling myself Iím pathetic for letting something so god-damned little get to me so muchÖ
So, I donít know exactly what I wantÖ I either want someone to tell me that I am being stupid, or someone to tell me that hell if Iím being stupid, and that I should be waking my Mother, Aunt and Uncle (who, fortunately, or unfortunately, is a police office) and telling them exactly what happened. Or even that I should just call up tomorrow, and tell him I canít make it, and that I wonít be going back. Or, of course- that I go back, and just be sure to never be left alone with the man.
Thereís no one I can talk to about this- my family would go castrate the man and burn down his house, and my friends would just laugh and tell me I should have let him. But I didnít want this to turn in, I didnít want to be stuck in the shower tomorrow, SHing and panicking trying to hide it, because I didnít ask for help.
...I'm sorry this is so long, I just had to get it all out- I feel like I'm completely trapped and I can't believe that he actually tried something.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Pretty_Empathic_Redhead's Avatar
 
Name: Nea
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 33
Join Date: January 10th 2009

Re: Please Help ~triggering SH~ - June 13th 2009, 04:16 PM

Im sorry you feel this way. What happened WAS NOT your fault. There is nothing wrong with trusting someone and going to their place for drinks. You didnt have sex with the guy but it was still assault. You said no and he didnt stop. But that doesnt mean that you should stop working there just because the guy that lives above the bar has it in for you. Tell your uncle and see if there is something he can do. If not? just try not to be alone with him but dont let this guy ruin your life.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
RoadtoRuin Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
RoadtoRuin's Avatar
 
Name: Gi
Gender: Female
Location: Falkland Is.

Posts: 6
Join Date: June 13th 2009

Re: Please Help ~triggering SH~ - June 14th 2009, 12:18 AM

Thanks for the advice It's really appreciated- I just couldn't tell if it was something I was blowing out of proportion or not


~~~
Wanting more than anything to
leave the place where
part of her had
died
~~~
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 17,306
Blog Entries: 1796
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: Please Help ~triggering SH~ - June 14th 2009, 01:36 AM

First off it is not your fault. You should not have to sleep with someone you don't want to and you have the right to go hang out with someone and not be assaulted.

I think talking to your uncle would be a good idea. If he says there is nothing that can be done about it than maybe he could at least help you figure out what you need to do next: quit the job, find a new one or just make sure you are not EVER alone with him.

I, personally, think that quitting your job would be a good idea; but you did say you need the money so maybe that isn't an option. So, the next best thing to do is to make sure you aren't along with him and maybe you could start carrying around pepper spray for emergencies.

Please don't blame yourself and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm or aim me.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
RoadtoRuin Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
RoadtoRuin's Avatar
 
Name: Gi
Gender: Female
Location: Falkland Is.

Posts: 6
Join Date: June 13th 2009

Re: Please Help ~triggering SH~ - June 14th 2009, 03:32 AM

I spoke to my Mother- who then insisted telling my Aunt and Uncle. But I didn't go into much detail- even less than I did in this post, only stating that he tried to force himself on me.
She told me not to go back, so I have quit. I doubt I'll go into full detail with anyone, and it's very unlikely that I'll try and get my boss in trouble for it.

Thank you for your advice, as I said before, it's very much appreciated and makes me feel a whole lot better about it all.


~~~
Wanting more than anything to
leave the place where
part of her had
died
~~~
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 17,306
Blog Entries: 1796
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: Please Help ~triggering SH~ - June 14th 2009, 05:49 AM

I am glad you were able to tell your mom something. It can be a very difficult thing to talk about.

I am glad you quit your job because now you, hopefully, won't have to see him ever again.

I hope things start looking up for you and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm or aim me.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
RoadtoRuin Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
RoadtoRuin's Avatar
 
Name: Gi
Gender: Female
Location: Falkland Is.

Posts: 6
Join Date: June 13th 2009

Re: Please Help ~triggering SH~ - June 14th 2009, 06:50 AM

Ah, it wasn't so difficult because I left out everything that scared me about the situation (I say that, but I followed her around the house for over three hours, before I was able to tell her. The only time I wasn't following her was when she went to the bathroom, and I'd go trail after my uncle, haha)

Thank you both so much I wasn't sure posting about it would help much (if at all) but it's actually made me feel a whole lot better, so thanks again


~~~
Wanting more than anything to
leave the place where
part of her had
died
~~~
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
triggering

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.