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deartrixie Offline
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Name: Trixie Stone
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is there somethign wrong with me? - June 16th 2009, 05:03 AM

So i talked to my school counselor about this. we did a few stress relieving exercises, and it was alright. and today I met with a sexual abuse counselor, and she seemed really nice, and it was ok, I guess.
Ok, i guess im just trying to ask
is this ever going to get better?
like when there are days like last week, I lost all faith and hope. I just want to know if thigns will ever change?
and is it normal for me to still be pissed about what was said?
i mean, my teachers started addressing me, asking me what was goign on, I guess I didnt realize how obvious it was....
I just, dont know anymore.
is it like this with every one?
   
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Jen Offline
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Re: is there somethign wrong with me? - June 16th 2009, 04:53 PM

Hey Trixie,

I'm so glad that you talked to your school counselor. Good for you! So the thing is, is I really don't believe in "normal". I don't believe it in ever, but especially when it comes to feelings and emotions. It's not normal or abnormal that you feel something. Feelings just ARE. So if you are still feeling upset about what happened, that's okay! You know? I just wanted to throw that out there.

It WILL get better. I promise. I know what it's like to think that it never will. I know what it's like to feel like it will never get even a bit easier. But it does. Time helps, a lot. Reaching out helps a lot too. Tuning into your feelings and thoughts helps. And Trixie, you're doing all those things! Which is wonderful. You're doing everything to help yourself and nurture yourself. The other thing you can do, is keep the faith that it won't always be this hard. It won't.

Take care of yourself--keep us posted, and I'm here if you want to talk. <3




"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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soul Offline
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Re: is there somethign wrong with me? - June 20th 2009, 02:15 AM

Hey Trixie (:

Having everyone come at you with a million questions and sometimes a little too much advice can be overwhelming. I am so happy to hear that you are getting some help with this but I would let your therapist or counselors know how you're feeling about their advice. If something she said to you struck a wrong cord then it might be a good idea to bring it up and ask for clarification so that resentment doesn't spoil your relationship with her. Keep in mind that your counselor is only human and all humans make mistakes. We are all built differently. You can't expect to see eye to eye with everyone on every matter. I would give her a chance to help you and if it really isn't working out then I'd look for help else were. You don't have to give up just because you didn't get along with one therapist. You have more options than that. I know from my own experiences that things do get easier as long as you actively deal with the issues you are facing. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me anytime. You're not alone in this and I would be more than happy to try and help in you any way I can. Take care and hang in there. You can make it through this.

Lots of love<3 Mimi



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Re: is there somethign wrong with me? - June 20th 2009, 07:55 PM

Trixie,

Things change, that I can promise you. They will change because you're taking the right steps to help them change. We need to, unfortunately, initiate the change. You've done that and it's a huge step towards changing how you feel and eventually cope with the past. I know things are very difficult at the beginning, everyone wants to know everything and it's not something easy to talk about. Whatever happened, hurt you and you need to deal with it slowly and at a pace you're comfortable with.

I said things can change, and they will - nothing can ever stay the same forever. When things change, it might get harder. But the road to recovery is worth it because recovery is a worthy goal, right? After the hard bumps, things will get better. It takes time and it takes patience. You need to be willing to be flexible with your emotions towards attempting to heal the abuse. Things will get better and you're allowed to feel anything you want. Time is not the only thing that helps you heal. Sometimes, time can't fix anything. You're allowed to be angry, you're allowed to be sad and everything in between. There is no right or wrong way to feel at any point. The only thing you can do is keep going and you're on the right path to changing things.

What you go through and what I go through and everyone else goes through is going to differ. We each have a different level we can handle mentally, emotionally and physically. Which is why nothing you feel is wrong. There can't be a wrong when no one can ever have the same experience. But we all go through a phase where we're confused and we just want it to be over with. Everyone hurts, but the key is not to let the hurt be you. Don't let it control who you are. You are still amazing, before after and during any abuse - you're amazing and you will come out of this shining. Stick with it and anything is possible. If you need anyone to talk to about anything, don't be shy to PM me. I'm here for you, as is the whole community of TH.

-Have hope


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Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
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Re: is there somethign wrong with me? - June 23rd 2009, 09:55 AM

Hey Trixie,

I think everyone gets good and bad days.
Some days you'll feel good for speaking about things and yet other days you want to cry. I know it's hard but you just have to give things time because as time goes on it gets easier to speak. It really does take time but once you're used to speaking it will make you feel a whole lot better. You have to take things in baby steps, only speak about what you're comfortable speaking about because it does take time for everything to come out. It's frustrating when one day you're fine to speak and emotionally it doesn't effect you and then another day you can't seem to open up but the more you speak to these counsellors the more you will trust them. They are only worrying about you and trying to help you to work through things and moving on with them slowly but surely.
Good luck Trixie and I'm always here if you need to speak!
   
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