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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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heather2010 Offline
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Name: Heather
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Thumbs down update - June 16th 2009, 05:04 PM

Well i dont know if you all remember the story i told u awhile back bout me pressing charges against this guy for rapeing me .....well lets say that june 12th they decided what charges and what court it would go to and the procuter didnt keep the rape charges but said they are charges him with deliqence to a minor that nite all i did was cry and im still cant belive i told strange ppl a story that was so personal that hurt so bad and still hurts but there is nothing i can do and the detective said that hopefully he will go to jail for awhile cuz of that (he also has other charges) but basically they gave him a deal b/c why would they tell me that he basically convessed to rapeing me then when they tell decide what charges they drop the rape charged ......i wish i could forgive and forget but everyone knows its not that easy


Lord, Thank You for everything
That I have come to know.
For all the trials I endured
You taught me how to grow.
Thank You for life's blessings,
You showed me how to love.
Thank You Lord, for filling me
with Compassion from above.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Jen Offline
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Re: update - June 18th 2009, 05:44 PM

Heather,

I am so proud of you for going through with everything, and so incredibly sorry to hear the result. It must feel so frustrating to know that you put yourself through a really hard situation and didn't get the outcome that you want. The system isn't fair, like that. It doesn't always work out for the best. Try to remember, though, that all wasn't lost. He did get charges against him, and they weren't the ones that you had hoped for, but it's more than would've happened if you hadn't been so brave to go to trial.

The other thing is that even though he might not officially be charged with rape, every single person that knows him will now always wonder what went on. You know? People will always question him, always doubt him, because of your bravery.

Are you taking care of yourself, Heather? It's definitely not that easy to forgive and forget. But please believe me when I say that it won't always be this hard forever. Time does help. Reaching out does help. Keep posting when it's helpful, and talking with friends and family who can support you.

PM me anytime, okay? <3




"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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Re: update - June 19th 2009, 04:04 AM

Hey Heather,

It takes a LOT of strength to do what you did, and you should be very proud of yourself(: You are right, you reached out and told strangers your story and that is a very difficult thing to do, but you did it. You did all you could and the justice system gave you the short end of the deal. I'm really sorry things didn't work out as you wanted them to or as they should have but you didn't let this go away unheard. You let people know what he did to you and you got your voice heard- that is very important. There will always be people who look at his record and see that he has this on file and they will be questionable about him. This is because of you- you did a very brave thing and it will pay off in the long run. It may not seem that way now but in time you will overcome this and you will be so happy you did what you did by pressing charges.

I know what you mean, sometimes forgiving and forgetting seems impossible, but you can't expect to do it overnight- it's a journey, a process. And yes it is a difficult one but things can get better. You can get through this, you've just got to hold on and have faith. Keep talking to close friends/family. Don't push all your feelings away. You can overcome this terrible time of your life, you've come so far already.

Hang in there and stay strong,
I'm here anytime you want to talk.


Originally joined: June 2008


" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
   
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soul Offline
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Re: update - June 19th 2009, 06:19 PM

Hey Heather (:

Unfortunately, we live in a world that is far from perfect. As others have said, try to focus on the positive facts that you both had the strength and courage to speak up for your rights and that while this certainly isn't justice he isn't getting away scot-free. I wish I knew why the detectives are letting a confessed rapist go. It doesn't seem logical, fair, right, and it's certainly unjust. While this may not bring you much comfort, it seems to me like you fully did your part to put him away and the people meant to help you let you down. I haven't gone threw anything this disappointing in terms of any court rulings. However, I have been let down by people I've put a great deal of faith and trust in and I understand some of what you're feeling right now. In a difficult time like this it is best to do what is best for you. If you think getting answers about exactly why he isn't being charged with rape would help you come to terms with this then that might be a good idea. If you think having the emotional support of a therapist or even talking with a family member or a friend about what happened to lessen the weight that traumatic events burden you with then give that a try. If you simply need to get away for a little while and take some time to yourself then do that. Think about what Heather needs and not what everyone else wants. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me anytime. You aren't alone in this<3 Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love<3 Mimi



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