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worriedsick Offline
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Age: 26

Posts: 11
Join Date: May 24th 2009

I have no idea what to do... - June 30th 2009, 04:22 AM

So, this last New Year, my significant other decided to tell me that he was raped by his uncle when he was eight. Because of it he got into drugs and an all-around bad crowd. When i met him he had turned his life around somewhat, and has gotten much better over the past year.
Anyways, I had absolutely no idea what to say when he told me, and still don't.
He told me everything that happened, every second of it. From beginning to end.
Ever since i haven't been able to get it off of my mind, and lately i've been having dreams where i see him being raped and can't do anything about it, and various other forms of the nightmare. It's gotten to the point where i'm afraid to sleep at night and have been developing severe eating issues because i always feel nauseated thinking about it.

I feel terrible because he's been able to help me with my problems, and i can't help him with his at all.
I just have no idea what to say or do to console him.
I am one of two of the only people he has ever told, the other person having died of a heart attack at 18.

He's had such a hard life because of this and just bad circumstances on his part. In his last relationship he was severely molested repeatedly by his girlfriend.

I just have no idea what i can say to him to help.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Ignorance is bliss..
Average Joe
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Name: A.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: U.S.

Posts: 181
Blog Entries: 8
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I have no idea what to do... - July 1st 2009, 06:27 AM

Hey there,

This is a very sensitive situation and it is completely understandable that you are finding that you are at a loss for words. What happened to him was horrible and I am terribly sorry he was put through that. Nobody deserves to be hurt in that way, it is so wrong.

You've got to understand that you can't make what happened to him disapear. All you can do is be there for him; trust me, he'll appreciate it. He's reached out to you so he must trust you. Just let him know that you are there for him. Let him know how much you care. And let him know that he can always talk to you, no matter what. It helps so much to know that you have support after things like this happen because sometimes you feel so alone.

You are a great person hunn, and it is so great that you are trying to help him. It may not seem easy but I promise you that you letting him know you are there for him will help him so much. If he is ready, throw out the possibility and advantage of talking to a professional.

Good luck,
I really hope he is okay.
And I hope you are okay as well.
If you ever want to talk, I'm here(:
Take care -

Originally joined: June 2008

" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
BlessSpecies Offline
Adam Was a Rough Draft
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Name: Jessica
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: California

Posts: 113
Join Date: June 30th 2009

Re: I have no idea what to do... - July 1st 2009, 06:59 AM

I was about to start writing something... but kay^ is right. He didn't expect anything from you; he just probably needed to let it out. Just telling you and having you be there for him probably meant the world to him.
I'm sorry there's no easy answer =/
Good luck!

"I'm not old enough to understand girls."
"Heh, I don't think anybody lives THAT long."
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