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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Thumbs down Im not sure, - July 7th 2009, 02:50 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

How well this fits into any categorie.. i do know that last night, while my husband and i were laying down, he wanted to have sex, i TOLD him that i didnt, but he got behind me and kept pulling me and pulling me, well he pilled me real hard one good time, and the skin between my genetals and thigh, ripped. it hurts so bad i can hadly take it. i cant wear underwear right now because that would hurt too... do you think i should tell someone?

Last edited by SimplyComplex; July 9th 2009 at 12:47 AM. Reason: Adding Prefix :]
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Re: Im not sure, - July 9th 2009, 01:02 AM

Hey there,

Just because you're married to this man, doesn't give him a right to have sex with you whenever he pleases. Sexual abuse is still an issue and you have every right to say no. You have the right to your own body and controlling when you do and don't have sex. In all honesty, I think it was wrong. I suggest talking with someone, it doesn't need to be someone in the position of authority, but someone you trust with this. Let them know what happened and that you're in need of some support. You might want to discuss this with your husband, see what he thinks of it. I know people who didn't feel the need to report the incident, but you might feel differently. You know him more than any of us here on TH do. So, only you know what will be the proper form of action. Either way, you deserve respect and you deserve to be able to say no to whomever you're married to. You are also allowed to assume that no means no and he will listen to that. He physically hurt you, and ignored a direct order to stop his sexual advances, he didn't listen. I don't think you should leave this, whether you tell someone in a legal position or not, don't keep quiet. Some people make that mistake and never know anything was wrong. You do deserve the respect, and he wasn't respecting you at all. If you need someone to talk to, please don't be shy. You're not alone here at all. You might even want to get away for a couple days, to think? Maybe with a friend? It's just an idea. :] Take care.

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Re: Im not sure, - July 9th 2009, 07:49 PM

go to the doctor! they can tell you if something is seriously wrong.
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Re: Im not sure, - July 10th 2009, 11:40 PM

Hey, I really think you need to tell someone. That's not right of him to demand sex from you even if your married to him. And I would also go to a doctor and get it looked at so it doesn't get infected or anything. And maybe if you really trust your doctor you can tell him/her how it happened. I strongly suggest telling someone.

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Re: Im not sure, - July 11th 2009, 10:10 AM


I am so sorry that this happened to you. I really think you should go to a doctor and get it checked out to make sure that everything is okay.

I wanted to say that just because you are married does not mean that you do not have the right to say no. When you get married your husband still has to honor your likes/dislikes and whatnots. Also, there is such a thing as marital rape(whether or not this is I couldn't say) and it is often ignored because people think that marriage gives people a right to sex whenever but it doesn't you still have the right to say no.

I really wish you would talk to someone about this; I don't know who but talking to someone understanding maybe call a hotline or something would help you feel a little better?

Please hang in there and if you ever want to talk feel free to pm me I am always open to listening and I will try my best to help.


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