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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ashyxanarchy Offline
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Name: Ashley
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: West Virginia

Posts: 36
Join Date: February 2nd 2009

I really have no idea what to do from here... - July 14th 2009, 10:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So the vast majority of my friends are guys, as I don't get along with many girls I'm around. We spend the night together a lot, and our parents really don't think anything of it.

I spent the night at one of their houses last night. It was just me, and two other guys. One of my friends went in the livingroom to watch tv, while myself and the 'other' friend watched a movie in his room. It was getting really late, so I fell asleep. And before I know it, the 'other' friend is uhm, down my pants. I was barely awake and severely disoriented so my efforts to stop him probably weren't as clear as I would have liked for them to be. Next, he's ripping my pants off and holding me down.. and you can guess from there. After he was done, I stayed awake shaking and crying until sun rise so I could walk home.

I would like to say it wasn't rape, because he's one of my best friends. I don't want to tell anyone because I'm really embarrassed and.. I just don't know how to explain it. Also, I'm sort of freaking out as I'm currently not on the pill and I'm pretty sure he didn't use a condom.

Has anyone been through the same sort of ordeal? I could use someone to talk to.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Jen Offline
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Name: Jen
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Massachusetts

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Re: I really have no idea what to do from here... - July 14th 2009, 10:53 PM

Hi Ashley,

I am so sorry to hear about your awful experience. Nobody should ever have to endure what you did. This was rape, Ashley. He held you down, he knew you were asleep and disoriented, you weren't able to stop him. This is not your fault. It's confusing because he's one of your best friends and we'd like to think that our best friends, and others close to us, would never hurt us. Unfortunately, that's not the case, and legally speaking, whether it was him or a family member or a complete stranger, it's all the same, heinous crime.

In terms of immediate care, since he didn't use a condom and you're not on the pill, it's REALLY important that you get yourself to a doctor or some sort of medical center so you can get the morning after pill. Do you feel comfortable telling a parent or guardian (or any other trusted adult--friend's mom, etc.) what happened? They can take you, and it's best if someone knows so that you can have support. They can be a support system for you, as well as get you the outside help and support that you need. It might seem embarrassing and shameful, but remember that any family member or friend who cares about you is not going to think badly of you, because you did nothing wrong. They will feel sad for you because they don't want such an awful thing to have happened, and they will feel glad that you reached out to them and that you're not struggling alone.

Please take good care of yourself, reach out to someone, and don't hesitate to PM me anytime you'd like to talk, okay?

"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Ignorance is bliss..
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Name: A.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: U.S.

Posts: 181
Blog Entries: 8
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I really have no idea what to do from here... - July 22nd 2009, 02:42 AM

I am so sorry for what you've been through, he should have never done that to you. Friend or not, what he did was rape. I know it's hard to believe that, I was raped by one of my close friends and for a year I was still in denial that I was infact raped. It was a very similar experience and I don't want you to handle it like I did. I tried to cope alone and I didn't tell anybody. You can't let this slide Ashley, it will eat you up inside. It will haunt you hunn and you don't want that. You don't deserve that. You don't need to be embarrassed, you did absolutely nothing wrong. He is the one who is wrong. You need to talk to somebody and you really should see a doctor. Talk to a parent, or a friend who can help you tell your parents or another family member. If you can't find the words to explain it just tell them what you've told us or show them your post. You can't cope with this all by yourself and trust me, the sooner you get help the easier it will be to move on from this. And yes, you can move on. The past will never be able to be fixed but the future is still in your hands. Counselling will be very good for you, and though it may be scary and difficult to talk about what happened, it really does help. You don't have to take all these steps at one time but you really do need to talk to somebody. And you do need to see a doctor to check for anything you might have gotten from him.

Know that you are not alone. We are here to help you through this every step of the way.
If you ever want to talk you can PM me anytime, I will always be here for you.
Hang in there hunn, and stay strong. You can get through this

Originally joined: June 2008

" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "

is this what you really want from me..?
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