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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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saaarah92 Offline
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Question being pinned - August 4th 2009, 03:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

One of my ex boyfriends used to think it was okay to pin me up against a wall in order to try and get what he wanted. Another time he pinned me down on his couch and shoved his di*k in my mouth and wouldnt move and another time he pushed me down on the couch and got on top of me. Thankfully weve broken up, but i just started dating another guy and i really really care about him. Its just i dont trust people, especially guys, when they get excited. I just dont know how to put that behind me because it made me stop trusting people and i want to be able to trust my new boy.

Last edited by SimplyComplex; August 4th 2009 at 01:32 PM. Reason: Adding prefix :]
   
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dancer Offline
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Re: being pinned - August 4th 2009, 03:58 AM

Hi Sarah,

*hugs*

I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through in your past relationship. It definitely wasn't okay for your ex-boyfriend to act how he did. You have the right to assert your dignity and your comfort level.

Thankfully, not every boy will act that way. Talking over boundaries with your current boyfriend and insisting on taking things at a pace and in a way that you're okay with might help you feel safer in the relationship. Sometimes being confident in your ability to stand your ground in making sure that other people treat you with the respect that you'll always deserve can make it easier to trust others because they don't feel like as much of a threat. Things like talking with a counselor or a helpline (I personally like Hopeline, 1-800-442-HOPE) can also help in working through things.

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: being pinned - August 4th 2009, 04:52 AM

Everything is going to be okay its going to take sometime to trust this new guy but yu always have to remember he is NOT yur ex. Thats the most important thing. If yu dont remember that then things will be hard. If yu need adivce please feel free to PM me anytime


*Jeremiah 29:11-
   
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Re: being pinned - August 4th 2009, 10:39 AM

Hey

It's never nice to be pinned against your will. It happened to me once, with "just a friend" who pinned me down on his bed.

Some guys are total arseholes, but others are more understanding. Maybe if you're able to talk to your new boyfriend about what happened to you, he'd be extra careful when it comes to that sort of stuff. But any guy you're with should and most likely will respect your wishes. Don't feel like you have to make yourself do stuf with your new boyfriend to keep him. Maybe just say you had a bad experience and so need time to build up trust with your boyfriend.

It will take time to put this behind you, and your new boy will understand. Take your time with everything and most of all remember that this new guy is NOT your ex boyfriend.

Take care x




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and remember what you deserve


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