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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Back to ... - August 5th 2009, 02:51 AM

Go I don't really know if this is the place I should put this.

So I'm really nervous to go back to school I get like this every year. Basically because there is a chance I get put in to a class with him (someone who sexually assulated me when i was in 8th grade now we are in 11th grade). I know the chances are slim, when I talk to people about they are always like you really should get over that it was 4 years ago. But truth is i'm still not "over it" and I don't think I will be for a very long time. I don't like talking about because well i don't even really know. But is there any advise you can give me?


   
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Re: Back to ... - August 5th 2009, 03:03 AM

Hey Meg,
I was sexually abused as a kid, and even though it was 12+ years ago, I'm still not over it. So don't worry about other people tell you about getting over it, because chances are they have no idea what it's like. It's a difficult thing to live with, especially if you have to see the person on a daily basis.

As far as your classes go, I recommend you talk to your counselor. You don't have to say anything you're uncomfortable with, but I'm sure if you are placed in the same class as him and you request to be switched to another class, your counselor can arrange it if you have a legitimate reason.

Good luck
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Re: Back to ... - August 5th 2009, 03:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by s_tor_m View Post
Hey Meg,
I was sexually abused as a kid, and even though it was 12+ years ago, I'm still not over it. So don't worry about other people tell you about getting over it, because chances are they have no idea what it's like. It's a difficult thing to live with, especially if you have to see the person on a daily basis.

As far as your classes go, I recommend you talk to your counselor. You don't have to say anything you're uncomfortable with, but I'm sure if you are placed in the same class as him and you request to be switched to another class, your counselor can arrange it if you have a legitimate reason.

Good luck
-tor
Last year I was in the same study hall as him. It really did not last long because I was able to be an aid for a teacher but I did try asking my counselor to swich it but she's like you should be strong. Well my defense is that I'm strong for the must part, and being in the same class scares me so much for the week I was with him my head was spinning into flashbacks and nightmares. I'm scared....


   
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Re: Back to ... - August 5th 2009, 08:32 PM

Hey there,

Like Tor said, chances are, people won't know what its like.

We all move at our own pace when coping with things. I was molested 10 years ago and its affecting me now more than it ever has. You have no reason to push yourself to get past this even though people tell you otherwise.

I know its scary, I do. And you're right, you are strong, very strong for getting through this. It takes courage and strength to cope with sexual assault and to even talk about it. So, like you said you are strong. We all have weak or uncomfortable spots, but thats perfectly okay.

Does your guidance counselor know why you wouldn't like to be in any classes with him? If not, explain to her. If so, you still don't have to suffer being in the same room as him. It scares you and it doesn't help you cope from what happened four years ago. Have a parent call and refuse to let you be in the same class. Flashbacks are scary, and so are nightmares. Its not fair for you to have them when you don't have to. So, try talking to your counselor once again if you happen to be in the same class as him.

Things will be okay, and you will get past this, but you don't have to rush yourself and no one else should tell you when to let something go. Becuase you and I know its easier said than done. As time goes on, you'll become less scared, but until that time comes, do whats best for you right now.

I hope you're okay,
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Re: Back to ... - August 5th 2009, 09:27 PM

Thank You so much! I will definatly take your advise into use this coming school year :]


   
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Re: Back to ... - August 7th 2009, 11:37 PM

Prehaps talk to a counselor, or is there anyway you would be able to move classes if he is in yours?


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Re: Back to ... - August 8th 2009, 01:22 AM

Hey there,

I too wanted to let you know that people cope/overcome there abuse at different times in their life so the people telling you to get past it must not know what it is like.

I think the best thing to do is to go talk to your school psychologist and explain to them some of the situation (if you get a class with him) you don't have to explain the whole situation if you don't want but explain to the school Psychologist that being in a class with him hurts your concentration and what not. Your school psychologist should be able to make a recommendation that you be placed in a different class.

Also, if you have a teacher that you are exceptionally close to (maybe from previous years) maybe you could go into them and explain the situation and ask them for help. It can really help you when you have a teacher rallying behind you (I know it helped me with the guidance counselor when I had a teacher supporting me).

I hope this helped and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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