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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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clarke Offline
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Exclamation help - August 9th 2009, 09:52 PM

As long as I can remember, my father kicked me around life a soccer ball. No one ever noticed the bruises, scrapes, broken bones, etc, or if they did, they never said anything until recently. In March, I came to school with a black eye, definitely not the first nor the worst, but a teacher got concerned and told me counselor and she talked to me and didn't believe my story and talked to my parents and didn't believe them when they had the same story. She called Child Protective Services and a social worker and two detectives came to my house a few days after Easter. After a primary interview with each member of my family, they left. They came back later that night, told me to pack a suitcase, and get in their car. I've never been back. It has been 113 days since I left. In that time, we have gone through three court cases. The first for my father, he was accused of child abuse and the jury declared a mistrial after deliberating for almost a week. The second was for my mom being charged with neglect and she was found not guilty. And the third was a retrial of my dad's case and he, eventually, was found guilty and sentenced to 7 years in a state prison.

Anyway, I feel awful. My father taught me that I was worthless and that no one cared, and that's how I feel now. My mom, brother, and sister all hate me. My mom has told me she hates me and my brother and sister have just been inhumanly rude to me since this all began. I've torn apart my family and it's never going to be the same again. I feel stupid for feeling so bad since it's my fault but still. I don't know how to ever feel better. I don't know what is going to happen with my life. My parents won't be paying for my college which costs 40K a year (21K after subtracting my scholarship money, but still). I honestly have nowhere to call home. I don't have a job that can support me. This all happened so fast, I didn't have time to prepare for all the mess.
   
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Pour the Teapot Offline
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Re: help - August 9th 2009, 11:35 PM

aw, don't you have any skills or anything that could help you get a job? and couldn't you get some student loans to pay for college?
   
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Re: help - August 9th 2009, 11:53 PM

Hey there,

First of all, I'd like to welcome you to Teen Help. We're all glad to have you here and I really hope you can get the direction you're looking for in this confusing time in your life.

As for your post, I can see how hard this is for you. You didn't report anyone, and yet you're blamed for this. And that's wrong. The idea of this having to be anyones "fault" is wrong. Because it's no ones fault but your fathers for being abusing towards you. If you get nothing else out of my post, I hope you take with you that this is not your fault and you are not to blame for anything that happened. It was probably the best thing to happen to you because what your father did was wrong. No one deserves to be hit or physically punished or neglected the way you were. What your father taught you was not the truth, and I think you're worth more than you know. It's often hard to believe we're worth anything in our own minds, but other people see it. Even if you can't see it, it's important to work on trying to let yourself believe you're worth something. Because at the end of the day it's what you think of yourself that matters.

Your family might never be the same again but that doesn't mean life can't get better for you. Things change but they don't need to go in a bad direction and there will always be positive things to look forward to. Unfortunately, if the people in your family can't see and understand how you feel, then they aren't worth your time. Because you do deserve respect and you are worth more than the way they're treating you. For now, try taking this one day at a time. Don't rush and stress yourself thinking about the future. You can do this and there are student loans available. You might be able to get a job while going to college. There are options out there for you, so try not to worry before you have to. Tomorrow is a new day and things can get better in time. Sometimes time can be the best healer. If you need anything, don't forget I'm just a PM away.

Have hope,
-Melissa


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