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olive Offline
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what should I tell my friends? - August 10th 2009, 03:53 PM

My parents aren’t really the partying drink til’ dawn then have a hangover types. But one night when I was around 4 or 5 we went to a party at one of their friends houses…it was actually in their barn – it was like a fall or Halloween party – and there were barrels full of beer.

It wasn’t really loud or rowdy, and there were other kids running around, but I guess I was tired because I just wanted to go home. So I took my moms coat that she had put on a chair and hid under it.

Someone had set up a sort of make-shift stage with a mic on it, and some guy was up there singing…and I realized he was singing about me, hiding under the coat…and he was obviously drunk.

I was kinda embarrassed so I just closed my eyes and next thing I know I feel these hand grabbing me over the coat. Then they’re under the coat and a rubbing all over me, even under my shirt and in my pants.

Then whoever it was just went away. And after a while my parents decide to go home.

This only happened once and It hasn’t really a super big deal throughout the rest of my life. The only thing is…now I’m afraid to drink alcohol ever (even when I turn 21) and I hate to go to parties where people are drinking, even just socially.

I worried about when I’m old enough to drink and my friends are asking me to go to parties…when they ask why I won’t go what should I tell them?
   
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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 10th 2009, 05:40 PM

I choose not to drink. I have lots of friends who don't drink, nor do they have any desire to drink. I have friends who do drink, and because they're my friends, they respect me when I tell then I don't want to drink.

There is nothing wrong with drinking, but there is also nothing wrong with choosing not to drink. When your friends get to the drinking age, all you have to do is tell them "No". Tell them you don't want too. If they try and talk you into it, leave. They don't deserve you as a friend. But hopefully your friends will remain your friends and never make you choose something you don't want.

Good luck! Stay strong





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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 10th 2009, 08:27 PM

not wanting to drink is a perfectly respectable practice. you've gone through something traumatic, and it scared you, there's nothing there to be ashamed of. so next time you're a party where people are drinking, feel free to grab a soda instead.
   
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August 11th 2009, 12:40 AM

I'd say either don't drink or only drink with people you trust. What happened to you is pretty random. Another option is to drink, but don't drink so much that you lose what is going on.

Also, if someone does that to you again, I recommend hitting them or screaming or something.




Last edited by SimplyComplex; August 11th 2009 at 05:05 PM. Reason: Merge posts.
   
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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 11th 2009, 12:44 AM

I would just tell them I choose not to drink...and if there your true friends they will respect your dision and won't make you drink..or go to partys and if they try to make you I would say for get about them there not worth your time if they dont respect your choice. What happened to you when you were little was really tramatic and I'm sorry


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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 11th 2009, 05:46 PM

Hey,

Having anything done like that to you, definitely takes time to get over. It's always hard to have something done to you as a child, and have to grow up with the occurring thoughts of it. I would consider letting one of your close friends to whom you trust a lot know what happened, you don't need to tell them everything just say 'something happened when I was younger and I necessarily don't feel like drinking.' If she/he asks what it is, just clearly explain that you don't want to talk about it, if they really are a friend, they will understand.

Have you considered talking about it to a councilor about it? Sometimes that does help overcome the fears. I know a lot of people don't want to talk to anyone about it but it may help the most.

Stay strong, and good luck!
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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 11th 2009, 09:08 PM

thanks for the replies everyone
yeah...what happened doesn't really bother me now,
Its just when I think about people drinking or stuff like that
(and I don't even know if the guy who did it was drunk.)

I'll think I'll do what most people suggested and just tell them I don't want to drink...I'll be the "designated driver" haha .
   
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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 12th 2009, 01:13 PM

Every group needs a designated driver! ^-^ Glad to have helped.





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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 12th 2009, 02:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by olive View Post
thanks for the replies everyone
yeah...what happened doesn't really bother me now,
Its just when I think about people drinking or stuff like that
(and I don't even know if the guy who did it was drunk.)

I'll think I'll do what most people suggested and just tell them I don't want to drink...I'll be the "designated driver" haha .

Even if it doesn't bother you as much, its still hard to trust people even when drunk. Being the designated driver is always a great solution, I tend to be the designated driver when I'm out with my friends, because I refuse to drink and drive.

Stay safe!
Brittany



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Re: what should I tell my friends? - August 14th 2009, 05:08 AM

I am glad you got help and designated drivers are great. I am not ashamed to say that I will be the designated driver when I am of age too.

Good luck.

~Jenna~


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