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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Chrissy2008 Offline
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Handling my Sister - August 11th 2009, 09:58 PM

My sister was raped in January. It took her 3 weeks afterwards to tell me. I went straight to her house and sat with her telling her that I'm proud that she told me, and that we'll make sure the guy can ever hurt her or anyone again. She then told me that she was also being harassed by the guy and that he wouldn't stop texting and calling her. I took my sister to the police station and they caught the guy, who then confessed to raping her and two other girls. After the statements were taken, the other girls left and got into therapy. My sister on the other hand took one session and refuses to ever go back. Ever since the rape, she hasn't been the same which I expect from something so traumatic. But her bouts of depression get pretty severe and I worry that it may be eating away at her. I'm not a psychologist yet, so I can't actually help her medically. Is there anything I can do aside from supporting her and watching over her so she doesn't do anything stupid? Also, did anyone have problems with individual therapy, but did better with another form of it?
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Re: Handling my Sister - August 12th 2009, 12:41 AM

I enjoyed group therapy a lot more than individual therapy, because somebody isn't focused on JUST you and staring at you the whole time. You get to hear others' stories and know you're not alone and you don't feel so...alienated. And you don't have to say anything for weeks or months if you want, just listen and the advice they give to each person is different so you get TONS of different advice without even having to tell your own story. =]
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Re: Handling my Sister - August 12th 2009, 12:55 AM

what about showing her this site? it's helped me a lot. and u do need to keep supporting her and letting her know that you're there for her and that you love her. hopefully, someday she can get over this and be happy again.
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Re: Handling my Sister - August 12th 2009, 01:53 AM

Was her problem with therapy or the therapist? If it was the therapist, you could try finding another one for her?

Yeah, regardless, be there for her. That should definitely help.

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Re: Handling my Sister - August 12th 2009, 02:26 AM

Hi Chrissy,

Dealing with any kind of abuse is hard, whether its emotional, physical, or verbal. Your sister is very strong for being able to go through the entire police/therapy thing. After I was raped the first time, it took me nearly 3 years to finally go to the officials.

I completely understand that she doesn't want to go talk to anyone, because it is a difficult thing to cope with. We here are not professionals either, but what you could consider doing is going to a therapist by yourself, to figure out ways to help your sister. Another option, is to possibly see if your sister wants you to go with her. I know that having someone close to you come to appointments like that would help out a lot.

If all else fails, keep doing what you are doing, which is helping her out. You are being a very good sister, but you need to be careful of a couple things. If you are putting all your efforts forward, and nothing is changing, you might start feeling a little down, also you might start feeling like your her only hope, if you know what I mean

You and your sister are so strong, and I look up to you two for that! I hope your friendship/family relationship continues to grow through this. Stay strong!

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