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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Question Is this normal? (includes a small fraction of my story) - August 12th 2009, 08:03 AM

Ok, so... In the begining of 8th grade I was at a friends party. Most of my friends were older, the youngest other than me there was 4 years older than me. Anyways, my drink got drugged and blacked out, I got raped, and I got pregnant. Being 12, I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't tell anyone that I was pregnant, but a couple people knew about the rape. About 4 months into the pregnancy I got beat up by a homophobic "friend of a friend of a friend" (I'm gay, just to let you know). The baby died.

That I think is the main part, but other than that I've been abused and molested over, and over, and over by both boys, men, women, and girls. Then raped again by a girl. (Yes, I fought back to all of them, but didn't win)

Anyways, getting to the point. I get really scared when my dad tries to touch me. Not sexually. Just any contact with him I'm afraid. He'll come into the computer room and put a hand on top of my head, and that I can't even handle. I just want to know is it normal to be afraid?
   
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Re: Is this normal? (includes a small fraction of my story) - August 12th 2009, 03:45 PM

Yes, it is very normal to be afraid. I suggest telling your dad about it. Report as many as you can remember to the proper authorities. Get a counselor. I was raped a few years ago, and I really wish I had opened up and gotten a counselor. Chin up. For the most part, it seems like you just need to find a new crowd, people your own age, people who wont ask you to go to parties where someone will slip a drug in someone else’s drink.





~Rissa~

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Re: Is this normal? (includes a small fraction of my story) - August 12th 2009, 06:14 PM

Hey Adelaide, I would say that any react to rape, abuse or an assault is ‘normal’, and there certainly isn’t anything wrong with the way that you are reacting. It’s important to remember that there isn’t a right or wrong way to react to such traumatic events, and that you’re allowed to feel however you do. That is your right. I can relate because I also find it difficult to have contact with people, if someone I don’t know or trust too well gets too close then I feel uncomfortable, and I find it extremely difficult to have any physical contact, such as a hug, with anyone whether they’re a friend, family member of stranger.

I think a lot of it has got to do with trust. When you’ve been hurt in such a way it’s often a natural to find it difficult to trust. You have been hurt, so you make an unconscious link in your mind that everyone you let close is going to hurt you in the same way, so to protect yourself you back away, or put defences up and I think you feeling scared is a way of your mind shouting out that you need to protect yourself. You said that some people know about the rape, does your Dad know anything about what you’ve been through? I think in order to work through this, it would really help for you to talk to someone. That could be your Dad, or if you didn’t feel able to talk to him, how about talking to your doctor, and finding out about counselling?

What happened to you was wrong, but not wrong of you. You didn’t do anything to deserve any of what happened, but you do deserve the help and support to move forwards with your life, so that you don’t have to keep living in fear.
   
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Re: Is this normal? (includes a small fraction of my story) - August 12th 2009, 08:37 PM

Most of the people who did this to me are dead now though, so I cant really report them, there's alot more to the story, I just didn't want to write it all out. Thank you for the advice though. I'll try to tell my dad.
   
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Re: Is this normal? (includes a small fraction of my story) - August 12th 2009, 08:40 PM

And thanks Ellie. My dad doesn't know about any of the stuff that happened to me. I just don't really feel like I can talk to him about anything.

I had a couselor, but didn't tell them, and I go into the hospital a couple times a month because of PTSD and psycosis, and brain damage. He knows about some of that, but nothing about what has happened to me.
   
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Re: Is this normal? (includes a small fraction of my story) - August 13th 2009, 04:11 AM

Hey Adelaide,

I am sorry that this happened to you and I agree with what the others have said; abuse can make you uncomfortable with contact from anyone (even your own father).

I am glad you are considering telling him and I think it might help. Sometimes when parents and friends know what happens it makes them a little more understanding and it might help you to speak about what happened.

I think you should consider telling a counselor about what happened (if you are ready) because talking really can help people heal.

Please hang in there and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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