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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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cant stop thinking - August 15th 2009, 05:10 AM

I went out with my exbf for about a year, oct 07 to oct 08. Last august he got me drunk and raped me until i started screaming and he stopped, and i was a virgin before that.I was scared to leave him because he really didnt let me have any friends and i felt like i had no one except him, but then my now bf came into my life and really helped me.
I told my bf about it when we first started going out. He felt horrible and we didnt do anything sexual for a while. i finnaly decided to have sex with him not too long ago, but i cant stop thinkg about what happened last year. anytime i try to talk aobut it to my bf it feels like im repeating the same stuff over and over again, and i know he really hates hearing about me talk about my ex, as sweet as my bf is. only some of my friends knw cuase i was afriad ppl wont believe me or think i want attention. then i told my friend thts also close friends with my ex, and now there not friends anymore. My ex yelled at me for telling her saying thts its not a big deal.
I just really dont know what to do. I cant keep dating and being intimate with my bf now when i keep thinking aobut being raped by my ex.
any advice? thanks youu
   
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Re: cant stop thinking - August 15th 2009, 05:23 AM

Hi there, thats a terrible thing what your ex did to you. Your current boyfriend is probably having a hard time watching you suffer, the least you can do is try to forget about what happened to you. Perhaps you should see a counsler. If you can't find it in yourself to let your new boyfriend be there for you then maybe you should break it off with him. He will understand.


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Re: cant stop thinking - August 15th 2009, 07:58 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry this happened to you. I know that you want to forget about it but forgetting about it is not as easy as it seems. Things like this take time to heal from and all people heal in their own way.

I think talking can be a great way to heal (of course you have to be ready) and talking to friends and family is a great way to start out. Another good person to talk to is a counselor because they have tools to help people better cope with things.

Another great resource is the hotlines (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f3-general/t22-hotlines/) it gives you someone to talk to about all of this and the people are usually pretty nice.

http://rainn.org/ is a great website as well (I think it is more for people in the USA so sorry in advance if you don't live there). It list all types of information and you can even find rape counseling centers in your area which is pretty nice.

Please hang in there and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.

I hope this helped.

~Jenna~


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Re: cant stop thinking - August 15th 2009, 11:38 AM

*Hugs*

I am so sorry you have had to deal with all this. I agree with Jenna, talking to a counsellor would help. I alos think that if you decided you couldn't handle having a bf your current bf would understand.

I hope everything works out, my PM box is ALWAYS open.
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