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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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evavisiodei Offline
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Unhappy Having a hard time coping - August 28th 2009, 02:02 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

All my life I've been sexally abused. First by my uncle, and then by two of my cousins (one male and one female).
I feel like its all my fault most of the time and like I have this sign on my head telling all the creepers out there to molest me.

I'm finally in love, and I cant put my guards down for this guy. Everytime he gets close I panic and feel so vunerable but he cant seem to understand why. Slowly Ive pushed away almost everyone in my life, fearing that they'll end up hurting me as well. All my relationships are suffering and crumbling around me. Social situations are torture for me and to just sleep at nights Im taking medications that I shouldnt.
Its hurts so badly that I dont know what to do???
   
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Re: Having a hard time coping - August 28th 2009, 02:06 AM

I know it feels like it, but you have to remember that it's NOT your fault.
Have you told this guy about what's happened to you? Have you told anyone? It sounds scary, but it reallyreally helps.
   
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Re: Having a hard time coping - August 28th 2009, 05:04 AM

Hey. I'm really sorry that you are going though all of this and that you have been hurt by so many people in your life. I promise you that it was not your fault though. The only ones to blame are your uncle and your two cousins. They had no right to take advantage of you that way. I know it's easy to blame yourself. Our minds have a way of twisting situations and making us place all fault on ourselves, but it isn't true hun.

Have you ever tried talking to someone about what happened? If not, I think it would really help you to open up hun. Tell your mom or a teacher or another adult you trust. Even just opening up to a friend can help. You deserve support through all of this hun. Another thing that might help is trying therapy. Sometimes it really helps to have someone to talk to who wont judge you and has to keep everything said confidential.

I'm really glad you have found someone you might be falling in love with. If you really do love and trust him, you should do your best to let him in. You don't have to go into detail, just let him know there are some things in your past that make relationships really hard and that you need to take things very slowly. If he loves you he will understand and support you as best he can.

I hope you are doing okay right now. If you ever need to talk, you can always pm me.
<3 emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: Having a hard time coping - August 28th 2009, 05:54 AM

Keep reminding yourself it's not your fault. When people do bad things, it's their decision to do that, not yours. There is no way you made them do what they did.

And tell the guy you're in love with. He's probably wondering what he's doing wrong that gets that reaction from you. He deserves to know and you owe it to yourself to tell him. Part of being in a loving relationship is being able to tell someone of your hurts and getting some comfort from them, just as you would comfort him.


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