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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Shanna Offline
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not sure? - August 31st 2009, 07:40 AM

Okay I like to drink and when I do I tend to drink more than I should. Anyways this guy in his 50's knew this and let me drink with him. I've known him for almost ten yrs. I ended up drinking like a 12 pack on my own and he and I went skinny dipping and he had sex with me. I let it happen and I kinda figured it would happen. Someone said he took advantage of me cuz of my weakness with alcohol. I dnt think so since I let it happen. There were 2 other men in the house. I think 1of them as a 2nd father 2 me.
   
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Re: not sure? - August 31st 2009, 09:08 AM

You were taken advantage of but as you said you thought it might happen that way. Alcohol affects your judgement. While I'm sure at the time you knew it was wrong it didn't seem to matter because you weren't thinking about the aftermath of it. Alcohol doesn't let you see the effects of what you are doing. He shouldn't have done it mainly because you are young and drunk or not he knew better. If you feel you have a problem with alcohol you might want to look into some groups that can help you. It isn't something to take lightly. That situation could have gone a whole lot differently if you didn't know him or he was just an even meanier person.

If you ever need to talk you can message me. Take Care





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Re: not sure? - August 31st 2009, 12:22 PM

Well firstly, thanks for standing up and telling us, it probably took some guts to do so.
You were under the influence of alcohol and he knew that, and in a way that makes out to seem like he took advantage of you, but obviously if you let it happen, it's not really a problem unless, being drunk was the only reason why you done it?

Try talking to him personally about it?
Tell him if it was a mistake? Or if you liked it and etc...
(:

Cazzum. x


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Re: not sure? - September 1st 2009, 08:30 PM

Drink does seem to do that, its a once you start you canít stop sort of situation and allot of the time drink can cause allot of things which if we hadnít have been drinking may not have happened, but yes you may have been drinking but this is not your fault that they took advantage of you, however if you wanted it to happen then that would be considered as being slightly different but from what you have said you had drunk allot of alcohol, and you drunk with him.
The other thing is the age difference he is in his 50ís and you are 18 which makes it seem that he has taken advantage of you.

The other thing is would you have done it if you had not been drinking as much as you have? That would mean that you have defiantly been taken advantage of, drink clouds the mind and your sense of judgement so if you would not have done it whilst sober and you didnít want to, and it was only the alcohol that pushed you into sleeping with this man then he took advantage of you and it could be considered as a form of abuse or could even be classed as something else.

I want you to know that this is not your fault, yes you did have the alcohol but you have said yourself that you have a weakness towards it. He was unfair on you and you did not deserve the way that he took advantage of you as he knew about your weakness towards alcohol.

If you need anything you can pm me as I will always be happy to listen.
Take care
Jaz.





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Re: not sure? - September 2nd 2009, 06:47 AM

Okay, I figured he would try to do something that night. I made sure I had some drinks so if it happened I would atleast avoid being completely miserable cuz I'm afraid to say no and stand my ground so I just bear whatever happens. Does that make sense? I didn't want to mess with him and I had voiced it with his brother. But the man kept making sure I had beer, probably trying to get me drunk off my ass and he did. He suggested skinny dipping and I went along.
   
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Re: not sure? - September 2nd 2009, 06:51 AM

He made his move and I said something between the lines of me not really wanting to and he just went in and I didn't try to stop it. Just let it happen so it would be finished. The point is I went knowingly and I let it happen.
   
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Re: not sure? - September 2nd 2009, 11:03 AM

When you've been drinking it seriously fogs your judgement and you let go of inhibitions, it's not your fault.
He made sure you constantly had a drink in your hand and he took advantage of the fact that you were drunk.
It was him who suggested skinny dipping and you only did it because you were intoxicated.
He had sex with you, you didn't have a choice, you didn't consent- when someone is drunk they have to consent because when people are drunk they can't always tell someone no.
He took advantage of you, what this man did was not right in anyway whatsoever and you shouldn't have had to have gone through this.
I'm always here if you want to speak.
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Re: not sure? - September 3rd 2009, 01:00 PM

In our opinions i think that most people seem to think that what he did was wrong, he took advantage of a young girl and got you to the point where you where very drunk, and had an extreme lack of judgement.
This thread http://forums.teenhelp.org/f13-rape-abuse/t269-rape-abuse-if/ should help you decide if you think what he did was taking advantage of you.
In my personal opinion he did taking advantage of you, but it's not all about what i think it's all about what you think, and how you feel about what he did to you.
Would you see it as him taking advantage of you ?
Did you want it to happen?

if you answer the second question as No you didn't want it to happen then it would be considered as abuse, if you need any help pm me im always happy to try.

Take care.





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I Believe in fairies
   
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