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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Kayla200 Offline
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I don't know what to do - September 5th 2009, 11:12 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ok so I'm not intirley sure where this goes so here it goes....um...ok so I've been raped and molested quite a few times which always involved alcohol ne ways ever scence then when Im with someone I trully care about I eather use sex to harm myself because I don't feel worthy enough or if I trully do want to be with that person cause I love them I can't feel gppd about it and it doesnt feel good I'm always afraid I'm going to hurt the person or idk...I just want to have a normal sex life but I don't know how and It sux...I don't know what to do...I still have flash backs of what happened to me and everything in the past and I've only told my close friends but they eather blame for whats happed to me or they tell me not to dwel on the past and im with this guy i care abt so much but every time we do stuff it doesnt feel good or ne thing n I don't know what to do I don't get off eather and I'm idk afraid of a lot of things but idk I'm rambaling soo yeah....advice plz

R.I.P Lee, Logan, Austin 3/5/09

As tears fall from my eyes,I realized I didn't know them as much as I knew everyone else,Yet what I knew was they where apart of me in different ways,And as I watched them be put in the ground,Their spirits floating,Apart of me went with them...........You will forever be missed and loved...Never forgotten
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Emily. Offline
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Re: I don't know what to do - September 6th 2009, 06:07 AM

Hey Kayla.

First off, I'm really sorry for what's happened to you in the past. No one deserves to be abused that way. I hope you know that what happened was not your fault and that you are not alone in this.

You posted that you have told a few friends and that they weren't really there for you, I'm really sorry about that. Sometimes people just don't know how to react to abuse and unless you have been through it, there's no way you can truly understand it. Have you ever thought about talking with a counselor? It might seem like a scary thing to do, but they can help you work through the memories and the flashbacks and even the problems you're dealing with now.

Some steps you could take on your own though, would just be to talk to the guy you're with. I know it can be really hard to have healthy and trusting relationships after being hurt this way, but it is possible. Just talk with your partner. If they really care about you, they will want to know what's going on and they will take things slow for you. Sometimes it takes a while for our bodies to realize that not everything sexual is bad. Take it slow and experiment a bit until you find things that you enjoy. Just know you are in control of what's going on now and talk to your partner.

Another thing you could try, is to maybe take a break from doing anything. You might need some more time to heal before you're ready to be in a sexual relationship. Take some time and decide what you want.

I hope you're doing okay right now and if you ever need to talk, you can always pm me.
<3 emily

"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

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