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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Question How do you trust again? - September 13th 2009, 11:58 PM

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I made up excuses from the bruises. Thougt it was my fault. I finally realized that it wasn't my fault.... My last relationship. After I ended it I was afraid to leave my house alone because I know that he would hit me again. I can't handle it. He was so nice to me at first... then started hitting and the hitting got worst. I miss the good things about him.. but I hate what he did. I thought I disearved it. (still feel that way a little) How do you know that you wont get hit by your next boyfriend? How can you trust people anymore? Will I ever forget about him?
   
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Re: How do you trust again? - September 14th 2009, 12:25 AM

Hey,
Sorry to hear what happened with you. I'm glad you ended it. It's best when you want to forget about him you don't associate with him in any way even if tried to call you, or contact you in someway,do not talk to him and from someone who is in abusive relationship, it's take a while to regain trust from anyone, it takes time. It happens often to someone who is in abusive relationship, they feel like it was worth it to be hit and feel guilty for it, for someone who hits their partner and later say they didn't mean it, don't assume it won't happen again because he will hit you again, you can't make up excuses for that or for him. You can choose to get professional help and when you do ,try new things, regain your self worth and live in the moment. You deserve to be happy. :] Feel free to private message if you need someone to talk to.





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make you happy, and that person is you.



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Re: How do you trust again? - September 14th 2009, 03:01 AM

I'm very sorry about what happened to you. It is hard to trust anyone after going through something like that. You basically just have to face your worst fear. You never know if the person you meet next will be like that. But I feel like most times people ignore the early signs thinking it wont get any worse. If you someday choose to start a realationship with someone my best advice would be to pay attention to everything. Don't let anyone tell you your over reacting when you get upset because they call you names or he gets in your face. If even for a second your scared of him then walk away. Don't let it get too far.

Don't be afraid to be on your own. Grow strong. Do things you enjoy. Live your life. Don't hurry into a relationship because you get lonely. Once you find that one person the rest of you life isn't just about you anymore. Learn who you are and what you want to do with your life.

I hope you can get through this. If you ever need to talk you can message me. Take Care.





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Emily. Offline
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Re: How do you trust again? - September 14th 2009, 04:25 AM

Hey there hun. I first want to tell you that I'm really proud of you. It takes an amazing amount of courage and strength to get yourself out of an abusive relationship, but you did it. You are a very brave person.

I know it's hard to not blame yourself after what happened. Our brains have a way of making us feel we deserved it, but this was in no way your fault hun. And it's okay to miss the good things about the relationship. Those good parts are what make relationships beautiful, but they are never worth abuse at the hands of the person you love. He was wrong and you did not deserve what happened.

As for forgetting about him, it may or may not happen. But whether or not you forget, you can still move on. You can learn from what happened and grow. You were hurt and it's hard to deal with, but you can trust again. It may take some hard work and some time, but it can happen.

I think the best way to start healing, would be to talk to someone. You don't have to go through this alone and there are some wonderful counselors out there who can really help.

What has happened to us in the past may always be with us, but we can still live. Don't be afraid to trust again. Build your relationships slowly and eventually the trust will come.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Stay safe.
<3 emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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