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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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scubagirl2336 Offline
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Awkward Party Situation - September 27th 2009, 10:39 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Wasn't sure where to put this. It wasn't really abuse. But here goes:
I was at a party the other night where I didn't really know anyone. I was hoping to become friends with some of the people there becasue they are members of a club i just joined. There was alot of drinking and I became VERY inebriated. Eventually though the night I asked one of the guys who lived there if he had a place i could lay down for awhile. He lead me to his room then left and shut the door. I was in and out of it. Some time later I felt someone rubbing my back, i thought it was just someone checking on me. Then he moved his hands to my butt. He was feeling all over me and kissing my neck, etc. I think i heard someone open the door a couple times and he would stop. He wasn't aggressive or anything. Whenever he would ask me if something he was doing was alright i would just go "un" becasue really thats all i could do. Once i rolled away from him but ended up laying in the same position again, with his hands all over me again. His hands were trying to move up my shirt as well and they went down the back of my pants. Finally I got up and left the room and told one of his friends what was happening. They went to talk to him but the guy said he was just trying to help me up. They didn't believe me, i guess becasue he was there friend and they didnt know me. We were both very drunk. Now i feel like i shouldnt have even brought it up to them, like i should have just left the room and left it at that. I don't want the people at the party to dislike me becasue of this. I don't want them to think im some girl accusing their friend of this. Like i said i wanted to get to know these people becasue im at a new college and trying to make friends. Now i dont know if i should try and talk to the guys friend again next time i see him or just let it drop.. i feel like they will never believe me.. maybe i should act like it never happened or i dont remember. do these things happen alot? think its my fault for letting it go as far as it did.. but i was soo drunk.. im very confused.
   
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Re: Awkward Party Situation - October 4th 2009, 01:08 AM

just don't get messed up like that again. it will be hard but try not to get messed up. and if anyone asks and you want to forget about it just sayy you were soo hammered you don't really remember ..
   
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Re: Awkward Party Situation - October 4th 2009, 03:46 PM

Honestly if he did anything sexually I'd report it, but if all he did was a bit of touching while that is no way acceptable, if you have absolutely no evidence, I'd make sure you don't ever get that drunk again when hes around... maybe bring a friend along with you to watch out for you... You can watch out for them too...

Just be very wary of him, and if anything like that happens again, definitely bring it up!

Also I seem to remember someone on here saying something, possibly Lou? But don't quote me on that... Just because you didn't say no, doesn't mean it wasn't rape.



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Do something that is interesting. If it is not interesting, find out why it is not interesting.
   
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Emily. Offline
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Re: Awkward Party Situation - October 5th 2009, 06:28 AM

Hey there. I want to first tell you that what happened was not your fault. It doesn't matter if you were drinking, he had no right to touch you like he did. He took advantage of the state you were in and you have no reason to blame yourself hun. I know adding alcohol into the mix makes things more confusing, but you pulled away, you never said yes. You were drunk to the point you couldn't talk and he wasn't. He knew what he was doing.

And you have no reason to feel bad for involving his friends. I'm sorry they didn't believe you though, I know that can really hurt.

It's up to you how you want to handle the situation now. You can report him to the police or even just to your campus police or you can choose to not report. Either way I do think you should talk to someone about what happened. It's hard to deal with and you don't have to go it alone.

A lot of campuses have free counseling services. I think that would be a really good idea to look into. They can help you work through the confusion you are feeling before it gets to be too much.

I hope you are okay right now. You can PM me anytime.
<3 emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: Awkward Party Situation - October 7th 2009, 12:55 PM

hey that wasn't ur fault! he's an ass! good luck for the future. avoid him and move on. it will b hard but it cant be proven as there's no proof.

stay strong
Candy
   
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