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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Olive. Offline
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I was raped - October 5th 2009, 01:38 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Just that title was hard to say. I'm 14 years old, in December I lost my virginity, to my 18 year old boyfriend. As a result, I found out in the January that I was pregnant. I was very happy because I'm a good student and I could do it, but when I told my mother, who which is very abusive, she punched me in the stomach and threw me down the stairs. The next today I went for an ultrasound with my boyfriend. They told me the baby wasn't going to survive, I lost the baby the next day, it was Valentine's Day. *takes a deep breath trying not to cry* Andy broke up with me who had actually proposed to me two days before, I didn't say yes, but I put it into consideration. He wanted to be a father so badly, and he really did push me to keep the baby, but when I felt flutters in my stomach that was it, I had to keep her (I thought it was a girl). So he told the entire school I had had an abortion. About a week after that, he started to follow me everywhere. And whenever he ran into me he'd put his hands on my stomach. Then on that Thursday he asked me to meet him after school. I was very stressed and well, I was suicidal at that point, and I went back to cutting. So I met him out back, he handed me a beer (I never drank before that but I was so upset I just, I needed tot calm down) I took a swing at him, and then he..he put a cloth soaked with chloroform over my nose and mouth. I remember waking up in the back of his truck, naked. I can't tell the rest or what happened next, its too hard. A month after, I missed my period. I immediately got a pregnancy test, and sure enough I was pregnant. The next day after school I had my friend drive me to an abortion clinic. And I gave up that baby, I had to I was so sick in my head at that point I just I felt it would not be fair to the child.

So now it's all like coming back. I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with the feelings, it hurts so much. I don't know what to do.
Someone please help?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Candi B Offline
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Re: I was raped - October 5th 2009, 02:37 AM

...Ummm it's ok the reasons why you gave ur baby was reasonable. It's normal to look back and feel like you did something wrong or that u wished things were different. I'm not sure what you should do because different things work for/help different people. Maybe you should shuld go to the person that your closest to and seek help from them. It should be somebody that knows you very well and that you can trust. That way you can trust them to do what's best to help you and since they know you they'll know how to or have an pretty good idea about how to help you. I hope that help and I'm very sorry if it doesn't.


Sometimes ur happy at unexpected times and sometimes ur not happy when u expect for urself to be happy. Life is weird and complicated and eveyrbody has problems but it's ok. Just remember that no matter wat ur goin through ur not the only person who's been through that and there is always sombody who can and will help.<3
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Emily. Offline
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Re: I was raped - October 5th 2009, 06:03 AM

Hey there Olive. It sounds like you are hurting quite a bit right now. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this all, but I think it's good that you are reaching out for some help.

Have you talked to anyone about what has all happened or thought about reporting it to the police? I know it can be hard, but what happened was a crime and the guy that hurt you deserves the consequences. If you're not ready that's alright too, but I still think you should talk to someone. Maybe a teacher or a school counselor, a family member, or any adult you trust. It can help just to be able to get some of it off your chest a bit. Secrets we hold inside can really wear you down.

I also think it would be a really good idea for you to try therapy. It really does help to be able to talk completely open with someone and know that they have to keep it confidential. Plus they are trained to help you deal with what has happened and can help you work on better coping techniques than cutting because you really don't deserve to be hurt anymore hun.

You do not have to go through this by yourself Olive. What happened was not your fault and you deserve support.

I hope you are okay right now. Please keep yourself safe and PM me anytime you need to talk.
<3 emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: I was raped - October 8th 2009, 08:15 AM

Well to start from a legal standpoint your boyfriend has commited rape, statutory rape to be correct, and a few minor crimes involving the fact that your underage. By definition stautory rape is hving sex with somone below the age of consent. Also it is illegal to marry with out both your parents approval if you re under 18. I reccomend you search for legal recourse.
   
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Re: I was raped - October 12th 2009, 12:15 AM

wow. u seem really strong. to get away from this all you need a change.holidays are coming soon why not stay with an aunt a littlw hile away to clear your head?

Your boyfriend was wrong and probably - though im not condoning it- was hurting and wanted another child. This is something that will be hard to deal with so you have to be strong, Tell someone you trust and start afresh.

if you;d like to talk pm mex


Candy =)
   
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Re: I was raped - October 12th 2009, 12:26 AM

Hi Olive,

It sounds like a lot has happened to you. Going for an abortion that time was your call and i can understand that you didnt want to keep it after what happened. Have you told anyone what he did to you? If not i urge you to, what he did was wrong and illegal. If you are scared to tell someone, try taking a friend along for support. I think you are very strong and brave. You mentioned you went back to cutting. instead of cutting why not look at the alternatives thread and see if you can try some of those instead of cutting. pm me anything you need to talk .
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I'm Not Who You Think I Am
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Re: I was raped - October 12th 2009, 10:26 AM

Hey hun,
Im not gonna minimise in any way how bad your feeling right now, I know things are really tough.
I know from personal experience how hard it is to have an abortion and the guilt you feel after.. Just believe me when I say it gets easier, not straight away but with time it becomes easier to put things into perspective..
What he did to you was wrong. I hope you realise that you are not to blame for any of the things he did to you.. We are all here to help and support you so make sure you use us.. You can PM (personal message) me if you wanna talk.. and I'll try and help.. Good Luck and remember give it time.. Dont give in to those suicidal feelings, you seem like such an amazing strong person and you have so much to look forward to.. x


[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
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Re: I was raped - October 14th 2009, 08:32 AM

I am incredably proud of you for posting this. It takes a lot of strength to do, and us folks at Teenhelp support you. It must have been tough to give up the baby, but it was probably better for the child not to be born. I'm so sorry that he abused you, and I urge you to tell someone close to you about his actions.

I wish you all the best love,

Imaginary


myspace.com/lonesome_fish for poetry. I like feedback sometimes. And I like smiley faces .
   
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