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Remember_M3 Offline
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Name: Katie
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Support...? - October 13th 2009, 03:40 AM

Hey,
My name is Katie and I'm a 20 year old college student. I am not yet comfortable talking about my ordeal but I was .... well some terrible things happened to me. I have a little bit of a hard time even admitting it because that makes it more real I guess. Its been 4 years since the last incident. My boyfriend now is the one who saved me from my own personal hell. I love him so much, but I can't talk to him. I have an irrational fear that he will call me a whiney little B*#@c and tell me to get over it. I do a lot better now, but sometimes I just can't move past what happened. I don't know what to do, or why these memories that I have been running from are surfacing now. I don't know what I expect anyone to do about it. I just want them to go away. I have started having nightmares. I just need an outlet that I don't have here. Or maybe its that I am afraid to peruse it. I don't know. I'm sorry.
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Re: Support...? - October 13th 2009, 04:35 AM

Katie,

I am so, so glad that you have decided to reach out here. It's so important that you find a healthy way to cope with everything that you are going through, and talking about it is one of the best coping methods out there. Kudos for opening up!

What you went through was absolutely horrible; you did not at all to be put through such pain. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with all of this, it's just not fair. Have you talked to anyone about what happened to you? I think it would help a great deal if you could manage to open up to someone close to you. It's important to have support when you're dealing with something so tough. No one worth your time is going to think that you are whiney for talking about this. You are NOT whining; opening up is one of the bravest things you can do.

It may also help to seek some sort of professional help, such as counseling. I know that therapy has helped me quite a bit with my own problems, and I think that it could help you to talk about all of this in a safe, secure environment. Think about it; I know it's so scary right now, but it truly does get easier with time.

Katie, I really hope that you can find the strength to speak up about everything that you've been going through. You deserve love, support and acceptance; never lose sight of that. What you have been put through was terrible, but I know you can overcome this.

Take care and stay strong. I'm here if you'd ever like to talk. <3


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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Re: Support...? - October 13th 2009, 01:36 PM

Thanks Jessi,
Honestly there really isnt anyone I feel comfortable talking to. My boyfriend kinda lived a lot of it with me as he was my best friend at the time, but I really don't want to admit to him that I am still having problems. I love him and I don't feel that he deserves to have to think about this anymore. I did make an appointment with a councilor at school. I don't know that I have the strength right now to talk about ...it... yet. I'm hoping that someday I will have the strength to talk about it. Its a healing process I suppose. I'm hoping that once I can talk about it, tell the story, the nightmares will go away.
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Re: Support...? - October 13th 2009, 04:08 PM

Katie,

You are so strong for just posting this on here! You are one step closer to getting yourself some help by making that appointment with your counsellor.

You have been through so many terrible things, and it is normal to still be having a hard time dealing with them years later. It's not something that just goes away, but it can heal in time with help and a lot of work and love.

It seems like your boyfriend is a great support system for you, and even if you can't tell him everything, just having someone there for you to hug you when you need it is important.

I know that one day you will gain the strength to tell someone about what has happened to you, and on that day you will be able to begin healing yourself! Good luck Katie!


Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

All you need is love
&
Love is all you need


   
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Re: Support...? - October 13th 2009, 11:42 PM

Hey
it isnt your fault, you did nothing wrong and i do agree that you need to talk to someone that you trust and that can be hard but to start off with but if you really trust this person then it will come out little by little and then at the sometime they will understand and they will help you out of it and i know what you are going though but the first step is talking your feeling and telling someone that you really trust
   
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Re: Support...? - October 14th 2009, 01:30 AM

Hey,
I know its important to tell my story, but I am just NOT ready to tell any of the people that I love. My boyfriend knows, he was there with me when it first happened, and with him I really just don't want to rehash the subject. I read that we were not supposed to post exactly what happened to us here because it could upset others which is really smart. Is there a place either on this site or another site that you know of where I can tell me story if/when I am ever ready?
P.S.
I met with a therapist today, and they were pretty unhelpful. I tried to tell that about the anxiety and the nightmares, but all they told me was that I should go to a psychiatrist to get drugs which I am not willing to take because they cause me to gain XX pounds

Last edited by Mel; October 25th 2009 at 07:57 AM. Reason: Please don't post weight numbers. It's against our ToS.
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