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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Tonight Offline
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Boyfriend - November 4th 2009, 05:17 AM

For the past year I've been raped by someone and my boyfriend knows about it.He's been really supportive and he's been trying to keep me safe and everything,but last night he mentioned that my anger issues are getting worse and he wants me to talk to someone.Honestly that didn't bother me but then he added that if I didn't he'd tell my mom what's going on.I relize he's only worried about me and wants to help but now I feel like I can't trust him and I get anxious when he's in the other room with my mom and I just don't want to be around him.

I don't want to lie to him but I don't know of any other way to get him to not tell my mom.


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Re: Boyfriend - November 4th 2009, 04:20 PM

I can see how that would make you uneasy. If I were you, I'd tell her anyway. But if you really don't want her to know, I would just politely ask your boyfriend not to do so. Tell him if anyone is told, you want to be the one to tell them. Make sense?
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Re: Boyfriend - November 5th 2009, 01:21 AM

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this with us and deciding to reach out here for help. I think it's great that you were able to come here and ask for help; you deserve all the help and support in the world. I'm so sorry that you have been put through so much; it just isn't fair.

I think that your boyfriend has a point; talking to someone could help you a great deal. I know that this is a personal, private thing...but why is it so important for your mother to stay in the dark? She could help you; this could be the beginning of a functional, helpful support system. Consider the fact that you do not have to tell your mother first. Perhaps you could go to a teacher or another relative that you trust. Work your way up; don't rush it.

In the mean time, explain to your boyfriend why you do not want your mother to know about what happened to you quite yet. Sit down with him, calmly explain your reasons; make sure he knows that you have thought about this, and that you are not trying to insolate yourself. It sounds like he just wants what is best for you; so let him know that you realize that secrets will only hurt you.

Take care, and if you need anything, feel free to contact me. Good luck with everything.


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