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The Kira Offline
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Exclamation It just hurts too bad... - November 8th 2009, 03:36 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i used to go out with this guy... Evan

He was the kind of guy parents don't want thier daughters aroun. He is almost 4 years older then me.

This summer he took me to a concert. It was ok at first, just a hand around my waist and then he started puting his hand under the back of my shirt, stroking my back. And I got mad. I told him to stop but he grabbed me by the waist with both hands and shoved me against a wall. pinned me and he wanted to make out. I didn't. But he kissed me anyway. Befor it got any furthur, I started histarically crying and he stoped.
He was asking if I was ok and I told him to just take me home. And he drove silently the entire way. I wasn't suposed to be with him in the first place. My mom dosn't even know about him, she would flip out.

I just feel like I was badly abused... Is it my fault? I don't want to see him again. But he keeps saying sorry.
It hurts so much
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Primrose. Offline
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Re: It just hurts too bad... - November 8th 2009, 05:57 PM


You have every right to feel hurt by what he did. He didn't respect your wishes and went farther than you were comfortable with. You told him no and he didn't listen. That's not your fault, Melody, it's his. You can accept his apology, but you don't have to. It's so important that you understand that - you don't have to see him, talk to him, or accept his apologies. You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable doing.

If you told your mum, do you think it would help? She might react badly, but then again you can't always be sure exactly what kind of reaction you'll be getting. Your mum, she cares about you and wants you to be safe. She'd do what she thinks is best for you. It might help if you talked to her about this but if you'd rather leave her out of it, then that's your choice. You have to do what's best for you, and what you think will help you. Don't do something that's going to cause more harm than good.

I really think though, that you should talk to someone about what happened. Like a close friend? Having someone else's perspective and having support from someone you trust, these are things that can help you heal and move on. Staying silent is never a good thing. If you don't feel you can talk to anyone about it, try blogging or journaling or posting here.. whatever you have to do to get the words out. It's definitely worth a try. You're really strong for being able to reach out for help with this. I know it's tough but hang in there. Take care of yourself.<3

And when you've got nothing left,
say I don't wanna be in love.
I don't wanna be in love.

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Re: It just hurts too bad... - November 8th 2009, 06:47 PM

Hey Melody,

What happened to you was not at all your fault. You expressed that you did not want to do those things, and he tried to force you to do them anyway. This is not at all okay or acceptable behavior. You have every right to feel the way you do; he hurt you, betrayed your trust.

I'm so sorry that you had this experience, but you will get past it with time. You are a strong person, capable of adjusting and learning to cope. Is there anyone in your life that you could talk to about what happened? A close friend, perhaps? It's important that you do not keep this to yourself; you do not have to be alone. You will never, ever be alone in this. You have so many people who love you and who want to help...use that. Let them help you, hold you up while you begin to heal. It's okay.

If he continues to bother you, seek help. You do not have to put up with being harrassed. Talk to your guidance counselor, a teacher, or a family member about what's going on. I know that you do not want your mother to find out about Evan, but your safety and peace of mind is so important. Any trouble that you may get into is worth you feeling safe, feeling at ease.

If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here. You do not have to go through this alone. Take care.

"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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