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WhitneyJ Offline
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Name: Whitney
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Posts: 1
Join Date: November 16th 2009

Where to go from here? - November 17th 2009, 12:25 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello everyone, I'm Whitney and I'm 15 years old. I just joined this site today.

I have been in abusive situations nearly my whole life. When i was younger i was sexually abused by a family member. And since that time my mother has been physically mentally and verbally abusive toward me as well as my father being mentally abusive. It's hard to even now recognize it as that instead of just her way of punishing me but i feel as though i am trapped type of tunnel that i can't get out. I want to better myself get a good education and move forward but because of the abuse i have separated myself from people and don't have anyone that i know could really handle everything i would tell them.

I have recently started going to a counselor and he's decent but he wants me to just wait it out with them. He wants me to just try to improve things and then when i'm 18 i can move out and start my own life. the thing is i don't want to wait 3 years to start moving anywhere for those three years i will be moving backward. i know that i need some severe counseling but i know that i cannot make it any longer but i feel that i am just trapped. No matter what direction i go nothing seems to change. I can't leave because it is no longer physical abuse and its hard to prove emtional and i can't just stay because i know i won't make it to even 16 if i do.

I thought of running away. i know its not the right thing to do but just to get away for a while maybe go to a shelter just so that i can have a break from all of it, a little peace.

I don't know if any of you have been abused or been at a shelter or in foster care but i would rather go through knowing what hell it can sometimes be then to spend any more seconds with them. It is like living hell but everyone around just thinks you're fine, and thinks you're the one thats to blame, being a minor or something when it all lies from my parents. I don't know if there are any youth places in kansas where i live but i was thinking that i wished i could go to one. not that i know what they are like but i think it would be good to get away and be with people with similar problems so i can work on them, but haven't seen any youth places

I just feel as though all the possibilites for my life have been burned and now i'm just left picking up burnt wood but not getting anywhere at all.
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Jen Offline
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Name: Jen
Age: 31
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Location: Massachusetts

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Re: Where to go from here? - November 19th 2009, 05:10 PM

Hey Whitney,

Welcome to TH! I’m really glad that you’re here

I’m so proud of you for speaking up and writing about what’s happened to you. I know that’s not always the easiest thing to do.

I am so sorry to hear about everything you’ve been through. I’ve been through some stuff myself, but can’t even imagine what this is like for you. You are so strong, Whitney, for surviving all of this. I hope you know that.

It’s so much harder to prove emotional abuse, you’re right. It’s so frustrating. I think you need to be very firm with your counselor, and let him know that you cannot stay at home any longer. Be very blunt with him. I don’t want you to run away, Whitney. I know that seems like a better alternative, but it’s not. But maybe you can figure something out with your counselor—like maybe there’s another family member you could stay with, or a friend for a while, or maybe he could help you find a youth shelter. Keep talking and explaining until he understands—and if he doesn’t, find someone else who will listen.

I’m proud of you for taking charge of your life instead of sitting back and letting bad things happen to you. Being strong and speaking up helps you feel like you are in control of this awful situation and you can make it better.

Hang in there, Whitney, and let me know if you want to talk, okay?

"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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abuse, depression, family, friends, future, running away, suicide, youth homes

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