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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 05:29 PM

Ok so im 17 and me and my mom dont get along like alot of typical teenage/parent relationships. So since my mom lived out of the school district i went to school in and i still hadnt got my own car yet i decided to move in with my bf of 21 even though i only knew him for a month n a half.

a month after i moved in i was cleaning up oneday and found his license underneath the dresser and his DOB was 1978!! I was scared and shocked. he had told me he was 21. when i confronted him about it he said he was sorry but that shouldnt change how i felt about him....i think thats creepy. i didnt know what to say or what to do...

Now i get shivers when he touches me and im forced to have sex with him cuz he threatens me, once he even held a pillow down over my face. he told me i wasnt leaving him now im scared to leave, we got in a fight and he left a giant bruise on my arm. what should i do my mom doesnt know but shes still mad that i was being rebellious.
   
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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 05:34 PM

You need to get out of that situation. Tell your mom and even the cops.
   
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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 05:52 PM

i guess im ashamed to tell
   
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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 05:54 PM

Yes but think. He has already threatened you and forced you. If you don't tell you might end up worse then just ashamed.
   
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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 05:59 PM

Hello,
I know you may be ashamed or embarresed, but the best thing to do in this situation is to tell someone and get help. You being in an abusive situation will do you no good.
I wish you the best of luck in this.
If you need anything my PM box is open




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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 06:07 PM

im trying to find a safe way out of the situation without everybody finding out, i really need to go because i have my 1yr old daughter with me
   
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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 07:42 PM

Hey,

You have options, there are ways you can get out of this safely and with your daughter. The first option would be to go to your mother - the two of you may not have the best relationship but she's still your mom, and she does care about you. She may have ideas about how to get you out of this, and she might be able to take care of your daughter for a little while, until you're out and on your feet. At the very least, she could be a support system, someone you can talk to when you're scared.

If he threatens you, forces you to have sex with him, and is physically assaulting you, then I can't stress this enough: you need to report him to the police. It's okay to be ashamed or embarrassed, but it's not okay to let him continue to hurt you. This is your life, not his, and you need to do what keeps you safe and out of harm's way. The police can help you - they can get you away from him and make sure he doesn't come near you anymore. They could also redirect you to someone who can help you find a safe place to live and ways you can support yourself and your daughter. I strongly, strongly recommend talking to the police before this gets any farther. You have to think about yourself.

Remember that you don't have to talk to the police alone. Your mom can come too, or a close friend - having a familiar face can really help, and if for some reason you can't tell them what he's doing, the person who comes with you can take over.

You didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who lied to you and he's the one who's hurting you. You are not at fault in any way and you don't deserve to have to deal with this. You're a strong girl, just hang in there and get help as soon as possible. Take good care of yourself.<3





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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 08:25 PM

Hi,

You really need to get out of that situation and fast! I'm assuming he can't be watching you every second, of every day. So when he isn't watching you, take that opportunity to call to police. He needs to be far away from you!

Him lying telling you that he was only 21 when he was really 31 is a HUGE thing.. Thats 10 years of a difference, and with him saying and doing that stuff to you, it just makes everything 10 times worse! He needs to be stopped before he seriously hurts you!

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Re: A 31 yr old man - November 17th 2009, 08:25 PM

Hey there,
I completely agree with everything Primrose said. You need to escape from this situation. It's understandable you may feel embaressed or ashamed but you didn't do anything wrong. I don't mean to scare you, but if you don't leave soon, it could get worse. The police are there to help you and like Primrose said, have a friend go with you. If you don't want word getting around, only tell your mom, a close friend or two, and the police. That way the whole world won't know and you will be able to find a better place to be. For you and your daughter, get help. It may be tough, but it will be completely worth it. Look online for saftey shelters where you can go so this guy won't be able to find you. I'm sure you will be able to find some.
Take care of yourself and your daughter and stay safe,
Alessa


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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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