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KiwiGal Offline
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Unhappy flash backs - November 29th 2009, 02:16 AM

i keep having flash backs i can feel his hands around my neck i cant breathe, i couldnt sleep last night i freaked out every time i closed my eye i can keep doing this...these flash backs are killing me. ive spent the last two days trying to remeber how to breathe.
any idea on howw to get over flash backs.
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Re: flash backs - November 29th 2009, 03:45 AM

You'll get over it at your own pace. I know thats not what you want to hear, but for me, its still hard to go to sleep some nights (its been 7 yrs for me). You can try therapy, actually please do try therapy. It didnt help me, but thats not to say it wont help you or anybody else in the situation.

Good luck.

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Re: flash backs - November 29th 2009, 06:20 PM

i can still feel his hands around my neck the hatred in his eyes...i've stopped sleeping, i dont feel like eating. this is haunting me now...why now??
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Re: flash backs - November 29th 2009, 06:49 PM

Heya Beka,

Sometimes after an incident, we might not feel the effects until a long time afterwards. They can be laying inside of you for ages until something all of a sudden triggers those memories and everything can come flooding out.
The best way to deal with flashbacks is to get them out, so by talking or writing what you're experiencing down. By doing this you're letting your brain sort the information out rather than stopping yourself from feeling anything. The more you talk or write, the easier they can become. Of course it's really unpleasant talking about something so painful, but the after effects are so worth it.
If you could try to see a therapist about this, that would be brilliant. They would know how to help you and could possibly think of some treatments to help you with the flashbacks, there are a few out there. I've tried two of them, and one of them really worked for one of my flashbacks, and now I hardly get affected by loud bangs.
It is possible for things to get easier, you just can't keep it all inside. You might think it would be better to do that as it could hurt less, but you're doing yourself more damage if you do. Things can bottle themselves up very easily, and the more you bottle, the more it can explode.

If you need to talk, I'm only a PM away (:

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Re: flash backs - November 30th 2009, 07:49 AM

I havent seen a therapist...a counsler...no one professional. I kept my demons inside for over 12 years. my most recent was a little over 5 years ago. My feelings are over flooding me inside. i cry everyday. i feel guilt. i feel exhausted. i know how you just wish there was a pill you could take and it made everything better permanently. but there isnt everything is temporary and getting help is probably the best things for us to do. i cannot encourage something i need to do for myself. . . i guess im just saying i understand how you feel and what kind of soothes me is putting on some relaxing music before you lay down. have a friend talk to you until you fall asleep. im trying all my solutions...let me know what you decide.
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Re: flash backs - December 1st 2009, 02:40 PM

I know what you are feeling.
Its been 2 years for me..
I still have flashbacks and feel him when Im laying in bed or just trying to sleep.
Its almost impossible to get over them, but you can deal with them.
When I feel the flashbacks I try to stay strong.
Deep breath, just try to relax.
I know how hard it is.
You have to stay strong.
Remember to breathe.

It does it easier.
I promise.
Good luck.
PM if you want to talk or need anything.
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Re: flash backs - December 1st 2009, 08:23 PM

Hey Beka. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with flashbacks. I know how horrible it is to be stuck in those. Have you ever tried any sort of therapy? I know it can be a hard thing to do, but I truly believe it helps to talk about things. Plus counselors are trained to help you work through things like flashbacks.

I had sent someone a PM about different grounding techniques that I've used or heard of so I'm just going to copy and paste that here for you. I really hope one might help.

Hopefully I've explained them alright. If not, you can always PM me and I'll try to rephrase them for you.

The one that I use most often is pretty simple. It's basically just to make you aware of your surroundings. Start off with your eyes open. It's much easier to be sucked into flashbacks and memories if your eyes are closed. Then it's simply just taking in what's around you. I start by listing five things I see and describing them such as red pen, tall shelf, etc. Then I go on to 5 things I feel - soft carpet, hard book, etc. Then 5 things I smell and 5 things I hear. If at the end of this I'm still feeling triggered, etc. I go through it all again until I feel safe and in the here and now again.

A simpler version of this is the "see 5, name 5, touch 5". It can be easier to remember when you're triggered or having a flashback. All you do is look at five things, name those five things, and touch those five things. Focus on the objects that are here and in the present until the feelings subside.

Some people also find it really helps them to move around. Jump up and down, run up and down your stairs, walk around your house, just don't trap yourself in one room.

It's also really good to just talk to someone. Call a friend on the phone or go find someone in your house. It really helps to hear familiar voices and have them kind of holding you in reality.

Some people find that a strong sensory input really helps too. Like biting into a sour lemon, putting on perfume, splashing your face with cold water, or ice on the back of your neck. Anything really to just shake you back into reality quick.

I hope one of these will help you. And remember it's important to treat yourself really well after getting through flashbacks. Do something you enjoy whether it's watching a movie, reading a book, shopping, or taking a bubble bath, just be good to yourself.

I hope these help and that you're doing okay right now. And I'm here if you ever need to talk.
<3 Emily

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but just being right where you are, who you are"

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Re: flash backs - December 2nd 2009, 03:25 AM

I've been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. both have been really helpful for me. It's been five months for me and I went four months hardly sleeping because the nightmares were so bad. I'm on minipress now and it's really helpful. I can actually sleep through the night now, the flashbacks have lessened too.
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KiwiGal Offline
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Re: flash backs - December 4th 2009, 01:15 AM

i couldnt bring myself to talk to the rherapist, she doesnt work for me, she kinda made me feel worse.

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