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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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asarvv Offline
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Unhappy I just told someone for the first time - December 2nd 2009, 05:07 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I was abused in 2008 by an ex, i don't want to discuss details. but, it was sexually and physically. the relationship lasted for 8 months, i was 13. i just recently told my current boyfriend (hes the first person iver ever told) since then he has been so nurturing and protective, he finally "understands" my depression. but he doesn't really. i need someone who knows what its like.. i mean, he doesnt even understand why i didnt just break up with the abused. its just nbot that easy :/
   
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Re: I just told someone for the first time - December 2nd 2009, 05:57 AM

its not only going to be hard for you but it will be hard for him as well. i know you want someone to understand and relate to how you feel and what you've been through but the only way you can be sure if you find someone to relate with regardless if its a boyfriend or just a friend. you'll need to be more open with someone other than your boyfriend and see if anyone out there will reach back out to you saying they understand and you can have that relationship with that person. if hes being supportive and protective than he really cares about you.

being in an abusive relationship than into a healthy one is a great but big step. at the time you were young and didnt have alot of experience in what a good healthy relationship was suppose to be like. im not sure if this helped but i hope it did.


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Re: I just told someone for the first time - December 2nd 2009, 06:39 AM

hi it is gunna be hard for ur bf cos he just wants to protect u and sounds like he cares for u alot and in time if u want to u can try explain y u didnt leave straight away to him

btw i been through simular stuff and im here if u ever want to chat im here

i hope in some way this helps u and i wish u all the best pm me or come in chat im always around
   
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Re: I just told someone for the first time - December 5th 2009, 04:48 AM

If any girl came up to me and told me someone had abused her, I wouldn't need details, just a name and a face. I can't stand garbage that would stoop to that level..

I'm very sorry this happened to you, I hope you find ways to cope, and I'm glad you're with someone that will protect you.
   
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Re: I just told someone for the first time - December 6th 2009, 05:52 AM

Hey Ali,

I know it feels like no one understands, but trust me, you are not alone in this. It's hard, when you have been through something like that, to trust someone again, so I am glad you have started to trust this guy, and I am proud of you for telling him, it's not an easy thing to do.

You are right, it isn't that easy to break up with someone who hurts you. You either think that they will change, that it is your fault, or that they will harm you or your family if you leave them. It feels like they control you, and it is so hard to break that control. It is also hard to break the silence, to tell someone what happened, and to reach for help with coping with it.

I know it feels like no one understands, and that no one will ever understand, but a lot of us here understand. Many of us have been there, it's not a very pleasant place to be. You are not alone. If you need anything, feel free to PM me.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

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"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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