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Mixtape91 Offline
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What do I do? - December 27th 2009, 07:14 PM

Okay, so my little cousin and I (she's like 15) got into deep conversation last night. She told me that her dad molested her when she was a little kid. She mad me promise not to tell her mom cuz she already regreats marrying him and doesn't want to burden her (their divorced now). So, my problem now comes down to what I do about it. I wouldn't be debating this but I was molested and raped 3 years ago and (even thoe it didn't feel like it at the time) it helped the situation a lot when my parents found out. Being so self distructive myself I know how hard it is and she told me she's hurting herself rooting from her past happening with her dad... so the question comes down to do I or do I not tell her mom?

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Re: What do I do? - December 27th 2009, 07:44 PM

Hey Hannah-

I wish I could give you a straight out yes or no answer. But situations like this are so hard. It can depend on the situation, the family, how people would react and overall if it would harm or help your cousin.

Did you find out if this is still going on? Honestly I think it's rare to have one time incidences with someone who lives in your house and sleeps where you do. How sure are you that the same thing is not happening even today? I could be entirely wrong, but do think about how things were said and if this is a possibility.

How do you think her mother would react? Would she be helpful or harmful? Would authorities be called and would this man get in trouble? How would the police around you handle where your cousin would live, is there a chance they'd take her away from her mother? Though, if the abuse is still going on, maybe it'd be best for her to be taken out of the house overall. But maybe police would not even be called.

You have to weigh the pros and cons. Perhaps speak to your own parents about it - see what they say. They probably also know your cousins situation better than us on TeenHelp do and can gauge what would help and what wouldn't. They also went through that with you, so can tell you how it is more from a parents point of view, yes?

Best of luck, sorry I couldn't have been more help. But I think it's amazing you care so much about your cousin.

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Re: What do I do? - December 27th 2009, 11:16 PM

Hey Hannah,

I completely agree with Maria here, you have to weigh the pros and cons. Telling your mum, asking you mum's opinion and for her help would be your best bet. You could also talk to your Cousin and see if you can get her to talk to her mum, even if just about her self harm. Also, offer to be there for her, if you are comfortable doing so. She may just really need a friend right now.

If you need anything, feel free to pm me.

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