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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
liketheangel Offline
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sympathy seeker? - January 2nd 2010, 09:08 PM

i dont know whats wrong with me.
i never wanted to tell anyone about my abuse. but ive ended telling up 2 people/ one wasa best friend. it came out when i was drunk. and because of it shes always been aware when i was depressed or scared.and she had some shit couple of years with me because of it .
now yet again i told another friend whilst drunk on new years.
im ridiculous im beginning to think im a pathetic sympathy seeker.
i dont need sympathy i need to deal with it.. and im trying but telling people seems to make them constantly aware of me. asking me question like do i blame myself.
of course i fucking do.. it happened to me twice.. its not the sorta thing that happens to one person multiple times if they didnt ask for it.
sorry bit of a rant but.. how do i STOP telling people about it when im drunk any ideas?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sympathy seeker? - January 2nd 2010, 09:47 PM

First of all its not your fault at all. Just because it happened twice does not mean you were 'asking for it'; it means you were vulnerable and taken advantage of more than once. So please don't blame yourself.
I also think telling two people hardly makes you attention seeking. Have you ever had any sort of counselling/help with this? If you managed to talk to someone professional (either through college/uni if you're still in education, or perhaps through your doctor) then maybe it wouldn't be on your mind and wouldn't come out when you're drinking. Then you could also reassure your friends that you're getting help and tell them you don't really want to talk about.
Good Luck and don't be so hard on yourself x
   
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Re: sympathy seeker? - January 2nd 2010, 09:54 PM

I'm sorry that happened to you, must be awful

I think you should give yourself more credit, you aren't a sympathy seeker. If you were, you would know it. After all, most obnoxious people don't realize how they act, right? Usually. Anyways, I don't think you should blame yourself, and you're right, you DIDN'T ask for it. You didn't deserve it either. If it's still bothering you, I advise seeking professional help. I'm not aware of how your friends' reactions were, but if they implied that you were sympathy-seeking, they are wrong. I'm just wondering if one or both of them implied or actually said that. That is the type of thing that you can't understand unless you've experienced it first hand. Telling somebody something that big is hard. But since you were drunk, I think your actions were impaired. I can't really tell you how to not tell somebody stuff when you're drunk, but I can maybe suggest not getting drunk at all, or being cautious about who you're with if/when you do get drunk. Your thing says you're only 19 as I noticed. That's illegal in many countries. Just be careful.

So I think you have plenty of options here.

1) Talking to your friends about it if you feel you are able to do so.
2) Seeking professional help if it really bothers you. (It's a huge thing to go through).
3) Avoid getting drunk?
4) Be careful who you are around, especially at parties and such, so you don't accidently say it again in front of a lot of people (or so).

I wish you the best of luck


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
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Re: sympathy seeker? - January 2nd 2010, 09:59 PM

it seems like you've answered your own question here.. if you tell people when you're drunk and you don't want to tell people.. then don't get so drunk?.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
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Re: sympathy seeker? - January 3rd 2010, 05:21 AM

It's not your fault. Just because it happened more than once, does not mean that you were asking for it. I've been there, and it doesn't matter how many times it happens, it is not your fault.

Talking about it does not make you a sympathy seeker. Talking about it is the only way to heal, even if it never goes away, talking makes it easier.Maybe the reason you talk about it when you are drunk, is because you refuse to talk about it, or think about it even, when you are sober. Don't stop talking about it.

If you need to talk, don't hesitate to pm me.


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